Norwich run Rovers ragged

Sunday, 2nd December

Outside of your average local under 13 game, it's unlikely that you'll see a
goal every five minutes unless you're watching "The Championship" starring
Robbie Earle at 9.30 on a Sunday morning. This, coincidentally is the same
time Norwich midfield playmaker Charlie Dimmock was rising from her
boyfriend's bed and heading over to pick up Perry from his palatial north
London home.

Captain Rick Utting had some rousing words for the team prior to his second
match of the Canaries' defence of the Dave Baister Trophy, including "I can't
be bothered again this week boys, get your hands dirty and the job done in the
Cup and I'll show up for the glamour game against Rangers on Sunday, when I
will boost morale with my return"

Other Capital Canaries absentees included Ian Jelbert (rib), Patterson (?),
Davies, Tett (Higgins' tea making practice), Bennett (buckled wheel), Barrett
('Man' flu), Gareth (ankle), and a late pull out from potential ringer
Gallagher with a knee-knack.

So "stocky" wideman Perrett took the vacant armband once again, spirits high
from a week away from his LA bound girlfriend's "fatty" jibes. Norwich lined
up with the 3 game unpassed Paul in goal, a back three of Higgins, Taylor and
Searge. Perrett and Boucher filled in the wing back positions, with Revill and
Dimmock occupying the central slots. Stubbs joined Every up front. Yes, that's
ten men. Last minute ringer Chris Gallagher missed out with the aforementioned
injury which may require (brain) surgery.

So as the Canaries lined up with ten, fearing an awful scrap in the
apocalyptic west London conditions, relief poured over them when it was
evident that the opposition would also be lining up with ten, on a massive bog
of a pitch.

The Canaries started well, forcing a few shots from Every, Stubbs and Perrett
as Rovers struggled to get out of their own half. These forced a couple of
good saves and near misses and it was certainly a sign of what was to come for
the Blackburn back line. The first goal arrived after ten minutes when Every
raced through a high back line, beating the offside trap to round the keeper
and slot home.

The second arrived when the Blackburn keeper could only clear a difficult
backpass to Perrett 40 yards from goal. Not quite anticipating an awkward
bounce of the ball on a less than manicured surface, he took a rather amusing
blow to the nuts, causing much discomfort to himself but joy to team-mates and
opposition alike. Oh and the ref. Before the pain could rise to the stomach,
Perrett took a touch a couple of yards out of his feet and pinged it back
straight over the keeper and backtracking defenders into the net. Celebrations
from the midfielder included falling to his knees and weeping with pain as his
balls retreated inside him like a sumo wrestler's before a title bout.

The third arrived in quick succession. After a host of offside calls and near
misses from Stubbs, the gloriously locked Barnaby Slater lookalike Charlie
Dimmock beat the offside trap after a slick exchange of passes with Revill,
who was enjoying the freedom of west London in the middle of the park. Slater
shaped to blast and slotted home at the near post from 15 yards in the inside
right channel.

To their credit, Blackburn responded well to the third goal and had a couple
of chances themselves as they committed more men forward. They earned
themselves a penalty in the 35th minute when Searge handled in the box
following a set piece. Tugay slotted home to reduce the deficit to 3-1. The
fourth arrived before the half time break when City earned a corner on the
near side. Stubbs delivered a great ball for Sunhill's Searge to rightly take
the ball off Taylor's generous forehead to nod home.

Soon after half time the Canaries were further into the lead. Stubbs
collecting a clever pass from Revill and again beating the offside trap to
slot home and lay the first half's ghosts to rest.

Goal number six arrived when Every again went clean through following good
work from Boucher out on the right. The ever reliable hitman made no mistake
as he sidefooted home from 18 yards after the Rovers defenders had clearly run
out of steam. Stubbs again notched to make it a couple for the day soon after
Every's goal when he easily rounded the last defender and slammed home.

By this point the Canaries were dominant, with further chances going astray
from Revill, Boucher and Perrett. Blackburn did claw one back however. City
had committed many men forward and were outnumbered as P.Reid, the Blackburn
midfielder scored a rather fortunate lob from 25 yards. This infuriated keeps
so much that he removed the gloves and switched with the tiring Taylor, who
dropped out of centre half back in goal. Paul looked comfortable in his new
role as Tayor looked on in relief that he could finally get some sleep after
not yet hitting the hay from Saturday night.

The eighth goal came as Slater was cruelly felled in the box as he shaped to
shoot. The pretty midfielder picked up the ball to calmly hit the ball into
the side netting from the penalty spot, despite the complex mind games
employed by Blackburn's team in a belated attempt to put the playmaker off.
"Ohh that was close" was heard to be muttered. City wished it was closer, the
game was getting farcical by now as Blackburn took their foot even further off
the gas. Goal nine came as Every was put through to hit it first time from 25
yards one on one with the keeper. The forward using the heavy wind to bend the
ball round the keeper on his favoured right foot.

Slater's hatrick came in the 75th minute as he received a slide-rule pass from
Boucher through the middle. Through on goal, as the keeper advanced he was
lobbed into an open goal. Good finish as he'd have looked like an absolute mug
if he'd missed. 10-2.

Blackburn scored again on one of their few counters, this time their forward
was taken down by Revill in the box in a tackle which looked to have taken the
ball as cover arrived from Higgins. Ref harshly pointed to the spot and it was
converted by Reid with aplomb.

Higgins had enjoyed a comfortable game at the back, starting many good pieces
of play as Norwich kept the ball well and then moved into a new midfield role
as Slater dropped back for the closing stages of the game. Little did he
expect that there were still five goals to come.

The next was a great team effort. Straight from the kick off, Revill snatched
the ball from the Blackburn midfielder and passed to Boucher. He exchanged
passes with Slater, who delayed and slid the ball to Boucher in the outside
right position. Boucher spotted Perrett's run towards the penalty spot and
delivered a dream of a first time cross with plenty of pace towards Perrett's
rapidly receding head and the wing wizard clinically headed past the keeper
from 10 yards for his second and the Canaries' 11th.

Goal 12 was again an example of the Canaries beating the Blackburn offside
trap with such efficiency that three men were clean through. Every laid the
ball to Boucher who tapped home. Such was the time allowed, he could have
stooped and headed home from a yard.

The thirteenth was Perrett's first hatrick in Canaries colours. Again a high
line allowed Slater to go through down the right. His pass inside allowed
Perrett a simple finish to make the score 13-3.

Goal 14 was Every's fourth. It was so good I can't remember how he scored it.
The game was wrapped up in stoppage time when Slater released a great pass to
Perrett who took his time working out how he could possibly finish with some
style before realising that the keeper was getting closer and ended up simply
hitting it as hard as he could and connecting ok for his fourth, wrapping up
the game.

So the Canaries, though a man short, put Blackburn to the sword. There hasn't
been such a mismatch since Mike Tyson 'dated' Desiree Washington.

Full Time: Blackburn 3 Norwich 15


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