Sunday, 2nd December
Outside of your average local under 13 game, it's unlikely that you'll see a
goal every five minutes unless you're watching "The Championship" starring
Robbie Earle at 9.30 on a Sunday morning. This, coincidentally is the same
time Norwich midfield playmaker Charlie Dimmock was rising from her
boyfriend's bed and heading over to pick up Perry from his palatial north
London home.
Captain Rick Utting had some rousing words for the team prior to his second
match of the Canaries' defence of the Dave Baister Trophy, including "I can't
be bothered again this week boys, get your hands dirty and the job done in the
Cup and I'll show up for the glamour game against Rangers on Sunday, when I
will boost morale with my return"
Other Capital Canaries absentees included Ian Jelbert (rib), Patterson (?),
Davies, Tett (Higgins' tea making practice), Bennett (buckled wheel), Barrett
('Man' flu), Gareth (ankle), and a late pull out from potential ringer
Gallagher with a knee-knack.
So "stocky" wideman Perrett took the vacant armband once again, spirits high
from a week away from his LA bound girlfriend's "fatty" jibes. Norwich lined
up with the 3 game unpassed Paul in goal, a back three of Higgins, Taylor and
Searge. Perrett and Boucher filled in the wing back positions, with Revill and
Dimmock occupying the central slots. Stubbs joined Every up front. Yes, that's
ten men. Last minute ringer Chris Gallagher missed out with the aforementioned
injury which may require (brain) surgery.
So as the Canaries lined up with ten, fearing an awful scrap in the
apocalyptic west London conditions, relief poured over them when it was
evident that the opposition would also be lining up with ten, on a massive bog
of a pitch.
The Canaries started well, forcing a few shots from Every, Stubbs and Perrett
as Rovers struggled to get out of their own half. These forced a couple of
good saves and near misses and it was certainly a sign of what was to come for
the Blackburn back line. The first goal arrived after ten minutes when Every
raced through a high back line, beating the offside trap to round the keeper
and slot home.
The second arrived when the Blackburn keeper could only clear a difficult
backpass to Perrett 40 yards from goal. Not quite anticipating an awkward
bounce of the ball on a less than manicured surface, he took a rather amusing
blow to the nuts, causing much discomfort to himself but joy to team-mates and
opposition alike. Oh and the ref. Before the pain could rise to the stomach,
Perrett took a touch a couple of yards out of his feet and pinged it back
straight over the keeper and backtracking defenders into the net. Celebrations
from the midfielder included falling to his knees and weeping with pain as his
balls retreated inside him like a sumo wrestler's before a title bout.
The third arrived in quick succession. After a host of offside calls and near
misses from Stubbs, the gloriously locked Barnaby Slater lookalike Charlie
Dimmock beat the offside trap after a slick exchange of passes with Revill,
who was enjoying the freedom of west London in the middle of the park. Slater
shaped to blast and slotted home at the near post from 15 yards in the inside
right channel.
To their credit, Blackburn responded well to the third goal and had a couple
of chances themselves as they committed more men forward. They earned
themselves a penalty in the 35th minute when Searge handled in the box
following a set piece. Tugay slotted home to reduce the deficit to 3-1. The
fourth arrived before the half time break when City earned a corner on the
near side. Stubbs delivered a great ball for Sunhill's Searge to rightly take
the ball off Taylor's generous forehead to nod home.
Soon after half time the Canaries were further into the lead. Stubbs
collecting a clever pass from Revill and again beating the offside trap to
slot home and lay the first half's ghosts to rest.
Goal number six arrived when Every again went clean through following good
work from Boucher out on the right. The ever reliable hitman made no mistake
as he sidefooted home from 18 yards after the Rovers defenders had clearly run
out of steam. Stubbs again notched to make it a couple for the day soon after
Every's goal when he easily rounded the last defender and slammed home.
By this point the Canaries were dominant, with further chances going astray
from Revill, Boucher and Perrett. Blackburn did claw one back however. City
had committed many men forward and were outnumbered as P.Reid, the Blackburn
midfielder scored a rather fortunate lob from 25 yards. This infuriated keeps
so much that he removed the gloves and switched with the tiring Taylor, who
dropped out of centre half back in goal. Paul looked comfortable in his new
role as Tayor looked on in relief that he could finally get some sleep after
not yet hitting the hay from Saturday night.
The eighth goal came as Slater was cruelly felled in the box as he shaped to
shoot. The pretty midfielder picked up the ball to calmly hit the ball into
the side netting from the penalty spot, despite the complex mind games
employed by Blackburn's team in a belated attempt to put the playmaker off.
"Ohh that was close" was heard to be muttered. City wished it was closer, the
game was getting farcical by now as Blackburn took their foot even further off
the gas. Goal nine came as Every was put through to hit it first time from 25
yards one on one with the keeper. The forward using the heavy wind to bend the
ball round the keeper on his favoured right foot.
Slater's hatrick came in the 75th minute as he received a slide-rule pass from
Boucher through the middle. Through on goal, as the keeper advanced he was
lobbed into an open goal. Good finish as he'd have looked like an absolute mug
if he'd missed. 10-2.
Blackburn scored again on one of their few counters, this time their forward
was taken down by Revill in the box in a tackle which looked to have taken the
ball as cover arrived from Higgins. Ref harshly pointed to the spot and it was
converted by Reid with aplomb.
Higgins had enjoyed a comfortable game at the back, starting many good pieces
of play as Norwich kept the ball well and then moved into a new midfield role
as Slater dropped back for the closing stages of the game. Little did he
expect that there were still five goals to come.
The next was a great team effort. Straight from the kick off, Revill snatched
the ball from the Blackburn midfielder and passed to Boucher. He exchanged
passes with Slater, who delayed and slid the ball to Boucher in the outside
right position. Boucher spotted Perrett's run towards the penalty spot and
delivered a dream of a first time cross with plenty of pace towards Perrett's
rapidly receding head and the wing wizard clinically headed past the keeper
from 10 yards for his second and the Canaries' 11th.
Goal 12 was again an example of the Canaries beating the Blackburn offside
trap with such efficiency that three men were clean through. Every laid the
ball to Boucher who tapped home. Such was the time allowed, he could have
stooped and headed home from a yard.
The thirteenth was Perrett's first hatrick in Canaries colours. Again a high
line allowed Slater to go through down the right. His pass inside allowed
Perrett a simple finish to make the score 13-3.
Goal 14 was Every's fourth. It was so good I can't remember how he scored it.
The game was wrapped up in stoppage time when Slater released a great pass to
Perrett who took his time working out how he could possibly finish with some
style before realising that the keeper was getting closer and ended up simply
hitting it as hard as he could and connecting ok for his fourth, wrapping up
the game.
So the Canaries, though a man short, put Blackburn to the sword. There hasn't
been such a mismatch since Mike Tyson 'dated' Desiree Washington.
Full Time: Blackburn 3 Norwich 15
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Norwich inspired to destroy Ireland
Sunday 4th November
Football is a funny old game, and this week's man of the match was more
decided by two swings of a wand of a right boot rather than an entire match's
work. On a sunny autumn afternoon at the Civil Service sports ground, the
capacity crowd witnessed a pleasing result and hard working overall
performance for the Canaries. 5-0 was a fair reflection on the dominance that
the yellows showed, with the football gradually becoming more free flowing
this season after a slow start.
The Canaries lined up in familiar shape with Boucher, Wilson and Patterson
(eventually) returning to the side. Particularly pleasing to see Wilson back
in the starting XI, a clause found in his prenuptial agreement by Higgins'
lawyers led to the lovable Scot rejoining the central midfield trio. The
Canaries fielded a strong team despite still missing players such as Bennett
(back), Davies (stretchmarks), Richardson (Thai hooker), Tett (Fulham
nightspot), Revill (highlighting bleach burns), and Jelbert (ginger).
Ireland will have come to the Civil Service in confident mood, having proved a
thorn in the side of some top sides this year. Directly contributing to poor
Ranger's decline and narrowly losing to Bristol City & Hibs.
While Norwich could have been forgiven for letting first half events at Carrow
Rd sour the atmosphere of this vital APFSCIL encounter, there was nothing of
the sort witnessed as the game got underway at a relentless pace with both
sides having chances. Ireland competed well in the first 20 mins, forcing a
few corners and long distance efforts.
The first goal came in the wake of some sustained Ireland pressure. Norwich
quickly moved the ball out of defence and out to the left hand side to Every,
who cut inside and crossed into the box. The ball eluded both the Ireland
centre halves and the oncoming Norwich forwards before reaching Perrett at the
far post 15 yards from goal. He managed to middle it first time back across
the keeper, who would perhaps be disappointed to let it underneath him into
the far corner.
With Boucher doing a tremendous job as the midfield's defensive screen he
allowed Norwich's attacking players to stream forward now at every opportunity
and the second goal was another example of Norwich moving the ball quickly out
of defence and towards the Ireland goal. Following another Ireland attack,
Norwich got forward in numbers and when the ball reached the busy Stubbs on
the half way line he released a superb ball over the top for Perrett to latch
on to following a diagonal run towards the centre forward position from the
right hand side. Beating the offside trap and faced with a quickly on rushing
keeper, the little magician produced a moment of magic as he lifted the ball
over the keeper from 20 yards with a lofted effort which took an age to come
down into the far top corner. The Ireland keeper then brushed the snow off the
ball following the prolific midfielder's fourth of the season, and sensing the
game was near over, booted it back to the centre circle.
At 2-0 Paul made a vital save after an Ireland winger left Slater flat on his
arse. Surprisingly for the motivational expert, this was no-one else's fault.
Looks like the yoga is really paying off.
City went into half time two goals to the good and sensing their third win on
the spin in the league. Half time was all about the need to keep it tight and
not concede early, sensing that the job would get done up at the other end if
Norwich were sensible at the back. This is the way it turned out, with Howard
and co. turning in a solid second half's defending for City's first clean
sheet of the season. The team looked motivated and three further goals
followed in the second half.
The second half opened with some good Canaries attacks and the third goal to
finish the game as a contest was not long in coming. Every firing a clinical
finish into the bottom right corner after some good work by his strike
partner, Patterson.
By this time the game had become more stretched and the Norwich forwards were
able to put more pressure and the fourth goal again came from Every, stabbing
home after a defensive mix up following good work from Stubbs. There was still
more to come from Norwich however and it looks like Barney's work is beginning
to pay off on the other players.
Avoiding 2005's political faux paux against Ireland, Slater's motivation was
not provided by potatoes, this time more by his own personal challenge to get
the best out of new forward Tom Patterson. Sensing that he must be more of a
kick up the backside than an arm round the shoulder kind of guy, he succeeded
in getting the best out of him when the battering ram centre forward pounced
on a mistake by the Ireland goalkeeper to stab home after a long ball from
Perrett. Slater's previous statement that he could 'not finish his dinner' was
mocked by the clinical open goal finish following a spill from the keeper.
Slater, still haunted by Patterson's miss in pre season from the "best cross
of his life" was otherwise composed and despite being five times over the
legal driving limit, had a strong game at sweeper. Only heard the story of
Patterson's miss once too, which is a start.
Further chances came and went for Perrett, Boucher, Stubbs and Utting. Biggest
two were from Taylor, again coming out on top in an aerial battle with the
Ireland forwards made his typically elegant presence felt in the opposition's
penalty box in the second half. Twice latching onto Stubbs corners he somehow
conspired to put the ball over, then onto the bar… from one yard. He was
promptly subbed for Higgins who settled well after a couple of runs up the
right once Perrett was too knackered to do it.
So all in all a satisfying result and performance for the Canaries and the
respective bosses summed it up in their post match press conferences;
"I'm proud of my lads, they stuck to their task and not even Barney's drink
problem could stop us". Andrew Higgins
"I've got to pick these players up after this, but who picks me up?" Ireland
Boss Stan 'Steve' Staunton (subsequently fired).
Final Score Norwich 5-0 RISSC
MOM: T Perrett
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
Football is a funny old game, and this week's man of the match was more
decided by two swings of a wand of a right boot rather than an entire match's
work. On a sunny autumn afternoon at the Civil Service sports ground, the
capacity crowd witnessed a pleasing result and hard working overall
performance for the Canaries. 5-0 was a fair reflection on the dominance that
the yellows showed, with the football gradually becoming more free flowing
this season after a slow start.
The Canaries lined up in familiar shape with Boucher, Wilson and Patterson
(eventually) returning to the side. Particularly pleasing to see Wilson back
in the starting XI, a clause found in his prenuptial agreement by Higgins'
lawyers led to the lovable Scot rejoining the central midfield trio. The
Canaries fielded a strong team despite still missing players such as Bennett
(back), Davies (stretchmarks), Richardson (Thai hooker), Tett (Fulham
nightspot), Revill (highlighting bleach burns), and Jelbert (ginger).
Ireland will have come to the Civil Service in confident mood, having proved a
thorn in the side of some top sides this year. Directly contributing to poor
Ranger's decline and narrowly losing to Bristol City & Hibs.
While Norwich could have been forgiven for letting first half events at Carrow
Rd sour the atmosphere of this vital APFSCIL encounter, there was nothing of
the sort witnessed as the game got underway at a relentless pace with both
sides having chances. Ireland competed well in the first 20 mins, forcing a
few corners and long distance efforts.
The first goal came in the wake of some sustained Ireland pressure. Norwich
quickly moved the ball out of defence and out to the left hand side to Every,
who cut inside and crossed into the box. The ball eluded both the Ireland
centre halves and the oncoming Norwich forwards before reaching Perrett at the
far post 15 yards from goal. He managed to middle it first time back across
the keeper, who would perhaps be disappointed to let it underneath him into
the far corner.
With Boucher doing a tremendous job as the midfield's defensive screen he
allowed Norwich's attacking players to stream forward now at every opportunity
and the second goal was another example of Norwich moving the ball quickly out
of defence and towards the Ireland goal. Following another Ireland attack,
Norwich got forward in numbers and when the ball reached the busy Stubbs on
the half way line he released a superb ball over the top for Perrett to latch
on to following a diagonal run towards the centre forward position from the
right hand side. Beating the offside trap and faced with a quickly on rushing
keeper, the little magician produced a moment of magic as he lifted the ball
over the keeper from 20 yards with a lofted effort which took an age to come
down into the far top corner. The Ireland keeper then brushed the snow off the
ball following the prolific midfielder's fourth of the season, and sensing the
game was near over, booted it back to the centre circle.
At 2-0 Paul made a vital save after an Ireland winger left Slater flat on his
arse. Surprisingly for the motivational expert, this was no-one else's fault.
Looks like the yoga is really paying off.
City went into half time two goals to the good and sensing their third win on
the spin in the league. Half time was all about the need to keep it tight and
not concede early, sensing that the job would get done up at the other end if
Norwich were sensible at the back. This is the way it turned out, with Howard
and co. turning in a solid second half's defending for City's first clean
sheet of the season. The team looked motivated and three further goals
followed in the second half.
The second half opened with some good Canaries attacks and the third goal to
finish the game as a contest was not long in coming. Every firing a clinical
finish into the bottom right corner after some good work by his strike
partner, Patterson.
By this time the game had become more stretched and the Norwich forwards were
able to put more pressure and the fourth goal again came from Every, stabbing
home after a defensive mix up following good work from Stubbs. There was still
more to come from Norwich however and it looks like Barney's work is beginning
to pay off on the other players.
Avoiding 2005's political faux paux against Ireland, Slater's motivation was
not provided by potatoes, this time more by his own personal challenge to get
the best out of new forward Tom Patterson. Sensing that he must be more of a
kick up the backside than an arm round the shoulder kind of guy, he succeeded
in getting the best out of him when the battering ram centre forward pounced
on a mistake by the Ireland goalkeeper to stab home after a long ball from
Perrett. Slater's previous statement that he could 'not finish his dinner' was
mocked by the clinical open goal finish following a spill from the keeper.
Slater, still haunted by Patterson's miss in pre season from the "best cross
of his life" was otherwise composed and despite being five times over the
legal driving limit, had a strong game at sweeper. Only heard the story of
Patterson's miss once too, which is a start.
Further chances came and went for Perrett, Boucher, Stubbs and Utting. Biggest
two were from Taylor, again coming out on top in an aerial battle with the
Ireland forwards made his typically elegant presence felt in the opposition's
penalty box in the second half. Twice latching onto Stubbs corners he somehow
conspired to put the ball over, then onto the bar… from one yard. He was
promptly subbed for Higgins who settled well after a couple of runs up the
right once Perrett was too knackered to do it.
So all in all a satisfying result and performance for the Canaries and the
respective bosses summed it up in their post match press conferences;
"I'm proud of my lads, they stuck to their task and not even Barney's drink
problem could stop us". Andrew Higgins
"I've got to pick these players up after this, but who picks me up?" Ireland
Boss Stan 'Steve' Staunton (subsequently fired).
Final Score Norwich 5-0 RISSC
MOM: T Perrett
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
Essex boys edge out Norwich
Sunday 28th October - London Cup
London Cup, Essex, end of the central line - three things not usually
associated with 9.45 on a Sunday morning, and rightly so……a handful of the
Canaries dismissed all three instructions and arrived on their own schedule,
cue Revill who only fancied an hour of football this week. You might have
expected the early kick-off to throw the 'pm' specialists - but not this time
- hangovers hadn't had a chance to sink in and the mood was extremely upbeat,
particularly with news of Roeder's imminent arrival at Carrow Road.
The yellows assembled as a unit of 10 for kick off against a youthful
Glenthorne United side accustomed to playing on a lovely Power League surface
– the best seen this season by some distance. They started brightest, some
neat passing through the middle and wide right created a couple of scrambles
in the box, the Canaries improvising to get the ball clear. Before the match
had really got going Glenthorne striker went racing into the box and Slats was
on hand to bring him to his knees – ref probably right to award the pen, 1-0
down. A slight drizzle now added a bit of zip to the pitch and the yellows got
their passing game going with a couple of bright bursts from Perrett and Every
in particular. However when Norwich possession broke down on the right
Glenthorne showed their ability to hit on the break and all of a sudden it was
2-0, the 10 men were chasing the game.
Revill arrived shortly after the restart and the resurgence began. Ricky
Rutting and Tett worked well to shift the ball out wide and Stubbs and Perrett
offered decent outlets for Davies to link up the play and Every to run into
space. The Canaries looked the more threatening as the half went on – winning
corners and getting the two big lads at the back (Higgins still injured I
should add) to apply the pressure in the box. The breakthrough came from the
right – a great whipped ball from Perrett was controlled and struck all in one
movement from Every, 2-1 and the half-time whistle went.
The half-time talk was made a little easier for Andy by the 10 mins of
champagne football played leading into the break. The message was to exploit
Every's pace, use the width and continue the simple passing game – Perrett was
given a strict 10 yrd passing limit. Kick off seemed to startle the home side
as the yellows poured on more pressure with a flowing move down the right
leading to a corner. A melee in the box followed with Every on hand to poke
the ball into the net and level the scores. 2-2.
Throughout the second period the Canaries played some of their best football
of the season led from the back – Slater, Taylor and Big-G quashing the threat
from the skilful Glenthorne front men. It was probably against the run that a
pacey move up the left of the pitch resulted in their man going down on zero
contact. Peno given and converted gave the home side the lead again, but quite
unjust.
The yellows were resilient and created a number of opportunities to the
whistle – Every unlucky with the final kick of the game not to get a bit more
on a 1-on-1 with the keeper. 3-2 it finished, the London Cup run came to an
end, but a good performance and a good game of football enjoyed by players and
fans alike.
MotM: Greg Tett
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
London Cup, Essex, end of the central line - three things not usually
associated with 9.45 on a Sunday morning, and rightly so……a handful of the
Canaries dismissed all three instructions and arrived on their own schedule,
cue Revill who only fancied an hour of football this week. You might have
expected the early kick-off to throw the 'pm' specialists - but not this time
- hangovers hadn't had a chance to sink in and the mood was extremely upbeat,
particularly with news of Roeder's imminent arrival at Carrow Road.
The yellows assembled as a unit of 10 for kick off against a youthful
Glenthorne United side accustomed to playing on a lovely Power League surface
– the best seen this season by some distance. They started brightest, some
neat passing through the middle and wide right created a couple of scrambles
in the box, the Canaries improvising to get the ball clear. Before the match
had really got going Glenthorne striker went racing into the box and Slats was
on hand to bring him to his knees – ref probably right to award the pen, 1-0
down. A slight drizzle now added a bit of zip to the pitch and the yellows got
their passing game going with a couple of bright bursts from Perrett and Every
in particular. However when Norwich possession broke down on the right
Glenthorne showed their ability to hit on the break and all of a sudden it was
2-0, the 10 men were chasing the game.
Revill arrived shortly after the restart and the resurgence began. Ricky
Rutting and Tett worked well to shift the ball out wide and Stubbs and Perrett
offered decent outlets for Davies to link up the play and Every to run into
space. The Canaries looked the more threatening as the half went on – winning
corners and getting the two big lads at the back (Higgins still injured I
should add) to apply the pressure in the box. The breakthrough came from the
right – a great whipped ball from Perrett was controlled and struck all in one
movement from Every, 2-1 and the half-time whistle went.
The half-time talk was made a little easier for Andy by the 10 mins of
champagne football played leading into the break. The message was to exploit
Every's pace, use the width and continue the simple passing game – Perrett was
given a strict 10 yrd passing limit. Kick off seemed to startle the home side
as the yellows poured on more pressure with a flowing move down the right
leading to a corner. A melee in the box followed with Every on hand to poke
the ball into the net and level the scores. 2-2.
Throughout the second period the Canaries played some of their best football
of the season led from the back – Slater, Taylor and Big-G quashing the threat
from the skilful Glenthorne front men. It was probably against the run that a
pacey move up the left of the pitch resulted in their man going down on zero
contact. Peno given and converted gave the home side the lead again, but quite
unjust.
The yellows were resilient and created a number of opportunities to the
whistle – Every unlucky with the final kick of the game not to get a bit more
on a 1-on-1 with the keeper. 3-2 it finished, the London Cup run came to an
end, but a good performance and a good game of football enjoyed by players and
fans alike.
MotM: Greg Tett
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
December 2nd: Norwich outclass Stoke City
Norwich City 5-0 Stoke City
Reports have emerged this morning that the Bars and clubs of Stoke Newington,
Camden Town and Central London took a massive loss in takings on Saturday
Night. At first they put this down to the ever exciting competition in
'Strictly Come Dancing' and 'The X Factor' but it has since come to pass that
the real reason was that Norwich City's playmaking utility man Barnaby Slater
stayed in on Saturday, to get himself in top condition for Sunday's big game.
When asked about this monumental change in Saturday Night plans the Canaries'
Number Ten said "I have been disappointed with my fitness this season and
wanted to see if my alcoholism had anything to do with it. I also invited my
new boyfriend Richard over and rimmed him out - which helped alleviate the
boredom".
Onlookers watching The Norwich vs Stoke game on Sunday afternoon at The Civil
Service were heard saying... "he should stay in and fuck boys every weekend,
that is the best display I've seen him put in since he scored four against The
Republic Of Ireland last year, and consequently called them all
Potato-fearing, leprechaun-riding bomb-makers" DISCLAIMER: This was actually
not what he said, just what he was accused of saying, not in so may words.
In terms of the game, all this journalist can report is that Stoke City were
given an absolute lesson. At the back, the yellows were dominant. Dan Taylor
was his usual self, dropping like a stone and screaming like a bitch anytime
anyone went near him. New signing 'Searge' came straight from the set of The
Bill to win everything in the air, only stopping to pass his badge and gun
holster to Reg Hollis at half-time. And like a red squirrel finding a pile of
soil in it's drey - Manager Andrew Higgins swept up everything admirably.
Out wide Rick Utting played his heart out, only stopping systematically to
abuse his own players - a role he seems to have taken on from Slater, who must
have other things on his mind since he got over his much publicised personal
problems. Thom Perrett was a work-horse on the right, only once seen stopping
to stroke his beautifully cultivated moustache. At one point he even beat a
man for pace, leading to the manager substituting him for not playing to his
strengths.
In the centre of midfield Boucher played the anchor man beautifully. He has
such grace, purpose and fantastic bone structure. Mikey Stubbs ran about like
a whippet on heat, causing panic in the Stoke rear-guard as they had no idea
where he was playing. Similarly to him in fact. Slater got stuck in, gave the
easy balls and had a hand in a few of the goals. Only a broken left foot, a
torn right calf and broken right index finger (he was stamped on) stopped him
from contributing any more. What a hero.
Up front, Evers was Evers and Patterson was clearly possessed. As he was good.
The goals went something like this....
Evers' goals
1 - A skewed cross from Utting into the penalty area, he latched onto it and
rounded the (stationary) keeper to score.
2 - A slide tackle/pass from Perett having outpaced Mario Melchiot to cut the
ball back and Every rolled it past keeper.
3 - A long ball bounced about three times past their dynamic defence, Every
runs onto it, cool left foot finish into the bottom right corner.
Pattersons' goals
1 - Slater played Evers in on right, he crossed and Patterson finished on the
volley with his swinger. Goal of the season.
2 - Hoof. Finish. Goal.
So, that was that. Stoke were shown how to play the beautiful game. All that
was left was for the gaffer Higgins to give his opinion. We caught him just as
he was on the way to the disabled toilet – easily the most comfortable toilet
at the shabby facility that is The Civil Service. Higgins said..... "ugh....it
was a good ugh...aahhhhhh.....performance from the ugghhhhh.....boys. I am
....ugh....proud....now I have to .....aaaaggggghhhhhh....rush off....ugh"
Norwich will be a hard team to stop on this form.
MOM: Slater – an accomplished performance from the flame haired 15 year old.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The information in this email and any attachments contained are confidential
and may be legally privileged. It is intended solely for the addressee. Access
to this by anyone else is unauthorised and if you are not the intended
recipient, any disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken or
omitted to be taken in reliance on it, is prohibited and may be unlawful. When
addressed to our Clients, any opinions, quotations, and advice are subject to
our standard terms and conditions. E&OE
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
Reports have emerged this morning that the Bars and clubs of Stoke Newington,
Camden Town and Central London took a massive loss in takings on Saturday
Night. At first they put this down to the ever exciting competition in
'Strictly Come Dancing' and 'The X Factor' but it has since come to pass that
the real reason was that Norwich City's playmaking utility man Barnaby Slater
stayed in on Saturday, to get himself in top condition for Sunday's big game.
When asked about this monumental change in Saturday Night plans the Canaries'
Number Ten said "I have been disappointed with my fitness this season and
wanted to see if my alcoholism had anything to do with it. I also invited my
new boyfriend Richard over and rimmed him out - which helped alleviate the
boredom".
Onlookers watching The Norwich vs Stoke game on Sunday afternoon at The Civil
Service were heard saying... "he should stay in and fuck boys every weekend,
that is the best display I've seen him put in since he scored four against The
Republic Of Ireland last year, and consequently called them all
Potato-fearing, leprechaun-riding bomb-makers" DISCLAIMER: This was actually
not what he said, just what he was accused of saying, not in so may words.
In terms of the game, all this journalist can report is that Stoke City were
given an absolute lesson. At the back, the yellows were dominant. Dan Taylor
was his usual self, dropping like a stone and screaming like a bitch anytime
anyone went near him. New signing 'Searge' came straight from the set of The
Bill to win everything in the air, only stopping to pass his badge and gun
holster to Reg Hollis at half-time. And like a red squirrel finding a pile of
soil in it's drey - Manager Andrew Higgins swept up everything admirably.
Out wide Rick Utting played his heart out, only stopping systematically to
abuse his own players - a role he seems to have taken on from Slater, who must
have other things on his mind since he got over his much publicised personal
problems. Thom Perrett was a work-horse on the right, only once seen stopping
to stroke his beautifully cultivated moustache. At one point he even beat a
man for pace, leading to the manager substituting him for not playing to his
strengths.
In the centre of midfield Boucher played the anchor man beautifully. He has
such grace, purpose and fantastic bone structure. Mikey Stubbs ran about like
a whippet on heat, causing panic in the Stoke rear-guard as they had no idea
where he was playing. Similarly to him in fact. Slater got stuck in, gave the
easy balls and had a hand in a few of the goals. Only a broken left foot, a
torn right calf and broken right index finger (he was stamped on) stopped him
from contributing any more. What a hero.
Up front, Evers was Evers and Patterson was clearly possessed. As he was good.
The goals went something like this....
Evers' goals
1 - A skewed cross from Utting into the penalty area, he latched onto it and
rounded the (stationary) keeper to score.
2 - A slide tackle/pass from Perett having outpaced Mario Melchiot to cut the
ball back and Every rolled it past keeper.
3 - A long ball bounced about three times past their dynamic defence, Every
runs onto it, cool left foot finish into the bottom right corner.
Pattersons' goals
1 - Slater played Evers in on right, he crossed and Patterson finished on the
volley with his swinger. Goal of the season.
2 - Hoof. Finish. Goal.
So, that was that. Stoke were shown how to play the beautiful game. All that
was left was for the gaffer Higgins to give his opinion. We caught him just as
he was on the way to the disabled toilet – easily the most comfortable toilet
at the shabby facility that is The Civil Service. Higgins said..... "ugh....it
was a good ugh...aahhhhhh.....performance from the ugghhhhh.....boys. I am
....ugh....proud....now I have to .....aaaaggggghhhhhh....rush off....ugh"
Norwich will be a hard team to stop on this form.
MOM: Slater – an accomplished performance from the flame haired 15 year old.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The information in this email and any attachments contained are confidential
and may be legally privileged. It is intended solely for the addressee. Access
to this by anyone else is unauthorised and if you are not the intended
recipient, any disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken or
omitted to be taken in reliance on it, is prohibited and may be unlawful. When
addressed to our Clients, any opinions, quotations, and advice are subject to
our standard terms and conditions. E&OE
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
