Sunday, 2nd December
Outside of your average local under 13 game, it's unlikely that you'll see a
goal every five minutes unless you're watching "The Championship" starring
Robbie Earle at 9.30 on a Sunday morning. This, coincidentally is the same
time Norwich midfield playmaker Charlie Dimmock was rising from her
boyfriend's bed and heading over to pick up Perry from his palatial north
London home.
Captain Rick Utting had some rousing words for the team prior to his second
match of the Canaries' defence of the Dave Baister Trophy, including "I can't
be bothered again this week boys, get your hands dirty and the job done in the
Cup and I'll show up for the glamour game against Rangers on Sunday, when I
will boost morale with my return"
Other Capital Canaries absentees included Ian Jelbert (rib), Patterson (?),
Davies, Tett (Higgins' tea making practice), Bennett (buckled wheel), Barrett
('Man' flu), Gareth (ankle), and a late pull out from potential ringer
Gallagher with a knee-knack.
So "stocky" wideman Perrett took the vacant armband once again, spirits high
from a week away from his LA bound girlfriend's "fatty" jibes. Norwich lined
up with the 3 game unpassed Paul in goal, a back three of Higgins, Taylor and
Searge. Perrett and Boucher filled in the wing back positions, with Revill and
Dimmock occupying the central slots. Stubbs joined Every up front. Yes, that's
ten men. Last minute ringer Chris Gallagher missed out with the aforementioned
injury which may require (brain) surgery.
So as the Canaries lined up with ten, fearing an awful scrap in the
apocalyptic west London conditions, relief poured over them when it was
evident that the opposition would also be lining up with ten, on a massive bog
of a pitch.
The Canaries started well, forcing a few shots from Every, Stubbs and Perrett
as Rovers struggled to get out of their own half. These forced a couple of
good saves and near misses and it was certainly a sign of what was to come for
the Blackburn back line. The first goal arrived after ten minutes when Every
raced through a high back line, beating the offside trap to round the keeper
and slot home.
The second arrived when the Blackburn keeper could only clear a difficult
backpass to Perrett 40 yards from goal. Not quite anticipating an awkward
bounce of the ball on a less than manicured surface, he took a rather amusing
blow to the nuts, causing much discomfort to himself but joy to team-mates and
opposition alike. Oh and the ref. Before the pain could rise to the stomach,
Perrett took a touch a couple of yards out of his feet and pinged it back
straight over the keeper and backtracking defenders into the net. Celebrations
from the midfielder included falling to his knees and weeping with pain as his
balls retreated inside him like a sumo wrestler's before a title bout.
The third arrived in quick succession. After a host of offside calls and near
misses from Stubbs, the gloriously locked Barnaby Slater lookalike Charlie
Dimmock beat the offside trap after a slick exchange of passes with Revill,
who was enjoying the freedom of west London in the middle of the park. Slater
shaped to blast and slotted home at the near post from 15 yards in the inside
right channel.
To their credit, Blackburn responded well to the third goal and had a couple
of chances themselves as they committed more men forward. They earned
themselves a penalty in the 35th minute when Searge handled in the box
following a set piece. Tugay slotted home to reduce the deficit to 3-1. The
fourth arrived before the half time break when City earned a corner on the
near side. Stubbs delivered a great ball for Sunhill's Searge to rightly take
the ball off Taylor's generous forehead to nod home.
Soon after half time the Canaries were further into the lead. Stubbs
collecting a clever pass from Revill and again beating the offside trap to
slot home and lay the first half's ghosts to rest.
Goal number six arrived when Every again went clean through following good
work from Boucher out on the right. The ever reliable hitman made no mistake
as he sidefooted home from 18 yards after the Rovers defenders had clearly run
out of steam. Stubbs again notched to make it a couple for the day soon after
Every's goal when he easily rounded the last defender and slammed home.
By this point the Canaries were dominant, with further chances going astray
from Revill, Boucher and Perrett. Blackburn did claw one back however. City
had committed many men forward and were outnumbered as P.Reid, the Blackburn
midfielder scored a rather fortunate lob from 25 yards. This infuriated keeps
so much that he removed the gloves and switched with the tiring Taylor, who
dropped out of centre half back in goal. Paul looked comfortable in his new
role as Tayor looked on in relief that he could finally get some sleep after
not yet hitting the hay from Saturday night.
The eighth goal came as Slater was cruelly felled in the box as he shaped to
shoot. The pretty midfielder picked up the ball to calmly hit the ball into
the side netting from the penalty spot, despite the complex mind games
employed by Blackburn's team in a belated attempt to put the playmaker off.
"Ohh that was close" was heard to be muttered. City wished it was closer, the
game was getting farcical by now as Blackburn took their foot even further off
the gas. Goal nine came as Every was put through to hit it first time from 25
yards one on one with the keeper. The forward using the heavy wind to bend the
ball round the keeper on his favoured right foot.
Slater's hatrick came in the 75th minute as he received a slide-rule pass from
Boucher through the middle. Through on goal, as the keeper advanced he was
lobbed into an open goal. Good finish as he'd have looked like an absolute mug
if he'd missed. 10-2.
Blackburn scored again on one of their few counters, this time their forward
was taken down by Revill in the box in a tackle which looked to have taken the
ball as cover arrived from Higgins. Ref harshly pointed to the spot and it was
converted by Reid with aplomb.
Higgins had enjoyed a comfortable game at the back, starting many good pieces
of play as Norwich kept the ball well and then moved into a new midfield role
as Slater dropped back for the closing stages of the game. Little did he
expect that there were still five goals to come.
The next was a great team effort. Straight from the kick off, Revill snatched
the ball from the Blackburn midfielder and passed to Boucher. He exchanged
passes with Slater, who delayed and slid the ball to Boucher in the outside
right position. Boucher spotted Perrett's run towards the penalty spot and
delivered a dream of a first time cross with plenty of pace towards Perrett's
rapidly receding head and the wing wizard clinically headed past the keeper
from 10 yards for his second and the Canaries' 11th.
Goal 12 was again an example of the Canaries beating the Blackburn offside
trap with such efficiency that three men were clean through. Every laid the
ball to Boucher who tapped home. Such was the time allowed, he could have
stooped and headed home from a yard.
The thirteenth was Perrett's first hatrick in Canaries colours. Again a high
line allowed Slater to go through down the right. His pass inside allowed
Perrett a simple finish to make the score 13-3.
Goal 14 was Every's fourth. It was so good I can't remember how he scored it.
The game was wrapped up in stoppage time when Slater released a great pass to
Perrett who took his time working out how he could possibly finish with some
style before realising that the keeper was getting closer and ended up simply
hitting it as hard as he could and connecting ok for his fourth, wrapping up
the game.
So the Canaries, though a man short, put Blackburn to the sword. There hasn't
been such a mismatch since Mike Tyson 'dated' Desiree Washington.
Full Time: Blackburn 3 Norwich 15
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Norwich inspired to destroy Ireland
Sunday 4th November
Football is a funny old game, and this week's man of the match was more
decided by two swings of a wand of a right boot rather than an entire match's
work. On a sunny autumn afternoon at the Civil Service sports ground, the
capacity crowd witnessed a pleasing result and hard working overall
performance for the Canaries. 5-0 was a fair reflection on the dominance that
the yellows showed, with the football gradually becoming more free flowing
this season after a slow start.
The Canaries lined up in familiar shape with Boucher, Wilson and Patterson
(eventually) returning to the side. Particularly pleasing to see Wilson back
in the starting XI, a clause found in his prenuptial agreement by Higgins'
lawyers led to the lovable Scot rejoining the central midfield trio. The
Canaries fielded a strong team despite still missing players such as Bennett
(back), Davies (stretchmarks), Richardson (Thai hooker), Tett (Fulham
nightspot), Revill (highlighting bleach burns), and Jelbert (ginger).
Ireland will have come to the Civil Service in confident mood, having proved a
thorn in the side of some top sides this year. Directly contributing to poor
Ranger's decline and narrowly losing to Bristol City & Hibs.
While Norwich could have been forgiven for letting first half events at Carrow
Rd sour the atmosphere of this vital APFSCIL encounter, there was nothing of
the sort witnessed as the game got underway at a relentless pace with both
sides having chances. Ireland competed well in the first 20 mins, forcing a
few corners and long distance efforts.
The first goal came in the wake of some sustained Ireland pressure. Norwich
quickly moved the ball out of defence and out to the left hand side to Every,
who cut inside and crossed into the box. The ball eluded both the Ireland
centre halves and the oncoming Norwich forwards before reaching Perrett at the
far post 15 yards from goal. He managed to middle it first time back across
the keeper, who would perhaps be disappointed to let it underneath him into
the far corner.
With Boucher doing a tremendous job as the midfield's defensive screen he
allowed Norwich's attacking players to stream forward now at every opportunity
and the second goal was another example of Norwich moving the ball quickly out
of defence and towards the Ireland goal. Following another Ireland attack,
Norwich got forward in numbers and when the ball reached the busy Stubbs on
the half way line he released a superb ball over the top for Perrett to latch
on to following a diagonal run towards the centre forward position from the
right hand side. Beating the offside trap and faced with a quickly on rushing
keeper, the little magician produced a moment of magic as he lifted the ball
over the keeper from 20 yards with a lofted effort which took an age to come
down into the far top corner. The Ireland keeper then brushed the snow off the
ball following the prolific midfielder's fourth of the season, and sensing the
game was near over, booted it back to the centre circle.
At 2-0 Paul made a vital save after an Ireland winger left Slater flat on his
arse. Surprisingly for the motivational expert, this was no-one else's fault.
Looks like the yoga is really paying off.
City went into half time two goals to the good and sensing their third win on
the spin in the league. Half time was all about the need to keep it tight and
not concede early, sensing that the job would get done up at the other end if
Norwich were sensible at the back. This is the way it turned out, with Howard
and co. turning in a solid second half's defending for City's first clean
sheet of the season. The team looked motivated and three further goals
followed in the second half.
The second half opened with some good Canaries attacks and the third goal to
finish the game as a contest was not long in coming. Every firing a clinical
finish into the bottom right corner after some good work by his strike
partner, Patterson.
By this time the game had become more stretched and the Norwich forwards were
able to put more pressure and the fourth goal again came from Every, stabbing
home after a defensive mix up following good work from Stubbs. There was still
more to come from Norwich however and it looks like Barney's work is beginning
to pay off on the other players.
Avoiding 2005's political faux paux against Ireland, Slater's motivation was
not provided by potatoes, this time more by his own personal challenge to get
the best out of new forward Tom Patterson. Sensing that he must be more of a
kick up the backside than an arm round the shoulder kind of guy, he succeeded
in getting the best out of him when the battering ram centre forward pounced
on a mistake by the Ireland goalkeeper to stab home after a long ball from
Perrett. Slater's previous statement that he could 'not finish his dinner' was
mocked by the clinical open goal finish following a spill from the keeper.
Slater, still haunted by Patterson's miss in pre season from the "best cross
of his life" was otherwise composed and despite being five times over the
legal driving limit, had a strong game at sweeper. Only heard the story of
Patterson's miss once too, which is a start.
Further chances came and went for Perrett, Boucher, Stubbs and Utting. Biggest
two were from Taylor, again coming out on top in an aerial battle with the
Ireland forwards made his typically elegant presence felt in the opposition's
penalty box in the second half. Twice latching onto Stubbs corners he somehow
conspired to put the ball over, then onto the bar… from one yard. He was
promptly subbed for Higgins who settled well after a couple of runs up the
right once Perrett was too knackered to do it.
So all in all a satisfying result and performance for the Canaries and the
respective bosses summed it up in their post match press conferences;
"I'm proud of my lads, they stuck to their task and not even Barney's drink
problem could stop us". Andrew Higgins
"I've got to pick these players up after this, but who picks me up?" Ireland
Boss Stan 'Steve' Staunton (subsequently fired).
Final Score Norwich 5-0 RISSC
MOM: T Perrett
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
Football is a funny old game, and this week's man of the match was more
decided by two swings of a wand of a right boot rather than an entire match's
work. On a sunny autumn afternoon at the Civil Service sports ground, the
capacity crowd witnessed a pleasing result and hard working overall
performance for the Canaries. 5-0 was a fair reflection on the dominance that
the yellows showed, with the football gradually becoming more free flowing
this season after a slow start.
The Canaries lined up in familiar shape with Boucher, Wilson and Patterson
(eventually) returning to the side. Particularly pleasing to see Wilson back
in the starting XI, a clause found in his prenuptial agreement by Higgins'
lawyers led to the lovable Scot rejoining the central midfield trio. The
Canaries fielded a strong team despite still missing players such as Bennett
(back), Davies (stretchmarks), Richardson (Thai hooker), Tett (Fulham
nightspot), Revill (highlighting bleach burns), and Jelbert (ginger).
Ireland will have come to the Civil Service in confident mood, having proved a
thorn in the side of some top sides this year. Directly contributing to poor
Ranger's decline and narrowly losing to Bristol City & Hibs.
While Norwich could have been forgiven for letting first half events at Carrow
Rd sour the atmosphere of this vital APFSCIL encounter, there was nothing of
the sort witnessed as the game got underway at a relentless pace with both
sides having chances. Ireland competed well in the first 20 mins, forcing a
few corners and long distance efforts.
The first goal came in the wake of some sustained Ireland pressure. Norwich
quickly moved the ball out of defence and out to the left hand side to Every,
who cut inside and crossed into the box. The ball eluded both the Ireland
centre halves and the oncoming Norwich forwards before reaching Perrett at the
far post 15 yards from goal. He managed to middle it first time back across
the keeper, who would perhaps be disappointed to let it underneath him into
the far corner.
With Boucher doing a tremendous job as the midfield's defensive screen he
allowed Norwich's attacking players to stream forward now at every opportunity
and the second goal was another example of Norwich moving the ball quickly out
of defence and towards the Ireland goal. Following another Ireland attack,
Norwich got forward in numbers and when the ball reached the busy Stubbs on
the half way line he released a superb ball over the top for Perrett to latch
on to following a diagonal run towards the centre forward position from the
right hand side. Beating the offside trap and faced with a quickly on rushing
keeper, the little magician produced a moment of magic as he lifted the ball
over the keeper from 20 yards with a lofted effort which took an age to come
down into the far top corner. The Ireland keeper then brushed the snow off the
ball following the prolific midfielder's fourth of the season, and sensing the
game was near over, booted it back to the centre circle.
At 2-0 Paul made a vital save after an Ireland winger left Slater flat on his
arse. Surprisingly for the motivational expert, this was no-one else's fault.
Looks like the yoga is really paying off.
City went into half time two goals to the good and sensing their third win on
the spin in the league. Half time was all about the need to keep it tight and
not concede early, sensing that the job would get done up at the other end if
Norwich were sensible at the back. This is the way it turned out, with Howard
and co. turning in a solid second half's defending for City's first clean
sheet of the season. The team looked motivated and three further goals
followed in the second half.
The second half opened with some good Canaries attacks and the third goal to
finish the game as a contest was not long in coming. Every firing a clinical
finish into the bottom right corner after some good work by his strike
partner, Patterson.
By this time the game had become more stretched and the Norwich forwards were
able to put more pressure and the fourth goal again came from Every, stabbing
home after a defensive mix up following good work from Stubbs. There was still
more to come from Norwich however and it looks like Barney's work is beginning
to pay off on the other players.
Avoiding 2005's political faux paux against Ireland, Slater's motivation was
not provided by potatoes, this time more by his own personal challenge to get
the best out of new forward Tom Patterson. Sensing that he must be more of a
kick up the backside than an arm round the shoulder kind of guy, he succeeded
in getting the best out of him when the battering ram centre forward pounced
on a mistake by the Ireland goalkeeper to stab home after a long ball from
Perrett. Slater's previous statement that he could 'not finish his dinner' was
mocked by the clinical open goal finish following a spill from the keeper.
Slater, still haunted by Patterson's miss in pre season from the "best cross
of his life" was otherwise composed and despite being five times over the
legal driving limit, had a strong game at sweeper. Only heard the story of
Patterson's miss once too, which is a start.
Further chances came and went for Perrett, Boucher, Stubbs and Utting. Biggest
two were from Taylor, again coming out on top in an aerial battle with the
Ireland forwards made his typically elegant presence felt in the opposition's
penalty box in the second half. Twice latching onto Stubbs corners he somehow
conspired to put the ball over, then onto the bar… from one yard. He was
promptly subbed for Higgins who settled well after a couple of runs up the
right once Perrett was too knackered to do it.
So all in all a satisfying result and performance for the Canaries and the
respective bosses summed it up in their post match press conferences;
"I'm proud of my lads, they stuck to their task and not even Barney's drink
problem could stop us". Andrew Higgins
"I've got to pick these players up after this, but who picks me up?" Ireland
Boss Stan 'Steve' Staunton (subsequently fired).
Final Score Norwich 5-0 RISSC
MOM: T Perrett
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
Essex boys edge out Norwich
Sunday 28th October - London Cup
London Cup, Essex, end of the central line - three things not usually
associated with 9.45 on a Sunday morning, and rightly so……a handful of the
Canaries dismissed all three instructions and arrived on their own schedule,
cue Revill who only fancied an hour of football this week. You might have
expected the early kick-off to throw the 'pm' specialists - but not this time
- hangovers hadn't had a chance to sink in and the mood was extremely upbeat,
particularly with news of Roeder's imminent arrival at Carrow Road.
The yellows assembled as a unit of 10 for kick off against a youthful
Glenthorne United side accustomed to playing on a lovely Power League surface
– the best seen this season by some distance. They started brightest, some
neat passing through the middle and wide right created a couple of scrambles
in the box, the Canaries improvising to get the ball clear. Before the match
had really got going Glenthorne striker went racing into the box and Slats was
on hand to bring him to his knees – ref probably right to award the pen, 1-0
down. A slight drizzle now added a bit of zip to the pitch and the yellows got
their passing game going with a couple of bright bursts from Perrett and Every
in particular. However when Norwich possession broke down on the right
Glenthorne showed their ability to hit on the break and all of a sudden it was
2-0, the 10 men were chasing the game.
Revill arrived shortly after the restart and the resurgence began. Ricky
Rutting and Tett worked well to shift the ball out wide and Stubbs and Perrett
offered decent outlets for Davies to link up the play and Every to run into
space. The Canaries looked the more threatening as the half went on – winning
corners and getting the two big lads at the back (Higgins still injured I
should add) to apply the pressure in the box. The breakthrough came from the
right – a great whipped ball from Perrett was controlled and struck all in one
movement from Every, 2-1 and the half-time whistle went.
The half-time talk was made a little easier for Andy by the 10 mins of
champagne football played leading into the break. The message was to exploit
Every's pace, use the width and continue the simple passing game – Perrett was
given a strict 10 yrd passing limit. Kick off seemed to startle the home side
as the yellows poured on more pressure with a flowing move down the right
leading to a corner. A melee in the box followed with Every on hand to poke
the ball into the net and level the scores. 2-2.
Throughout the second period the Canaries played some of their best football
of the season led from the back – Slater, Taylor and Big-G quashing the threat
from the skilful Glenthorne front men. It was probably against the run that a
pacey move up the left of the pitch resulted in their man going down on zero
contact. Peno given and converted gave the home side the lead again, but quite
unjust.
The yellows were resilient and created a number of opportunities to the
whistle – Every unlucky with the final kick of the game not to get a bit more
on a 1-on-1 with the keeper. 3-2 it finished, the London Cup run came to an
end, but a good performance and a good game of football enjoyed by players and
fans alike.
MotM: Greg Tett
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
London Cup, Essex, end of the central line - three things not usually
associated with 9.45 on a Sunday morning, and rightly so……a handful of the
Canaries dismissed all three instructions and arrived on their own schedule,
cue Revill who only fancied an hour of football this week. You might have
expected the early kick-off to throw the 'pm' specialists - but not this time
- hangovers hadn't had a chance to sink in and the mood was extremely upbeat,
particularly with news of Roeder's imminent arrival at Carrow Road.
The yellows assembled as a unit of 10 for kick off against a youthful
Glenthorne United side accustomed to playing on a lovely Power League surface
– the best seen this season by some distance. They started brightest, some
neat passing through the middle and wide right created a couple of scrambles
in the box, the Canaries improvising to get the ball clear. Before the match
had really got going Glenthorne striker went racing into the box and Slats was
on hand to bring him to his knees – ref probably right to award the pen, 1-0
down. A slight drizzle now added a bit of zip to the pitch and the yellows got
their passing game going with a couple of bright bursts from Perrett and Every
in particular. However when Norwich possession broke down on the right
Glenthorne showed their ability to hit on the break and all of a sudden it was
2-0, the 10 men were chasing the game.
Revill arrived shortly after the restart and the resurgence began. Ricky
Rutting and Tett worked well to shift the ball out wide and Stubbs and Perrett
offered decent outlets for Davies to link up the play and Every to run into
space. The Canaries looked the more threatening as the half went on – winning
corners and getting the two big lads at the back (Higgins still injured I
should add) to apply the pressure in the box. The breakthrough came from the
right – a great whipped ball from Perrett was controlled and struck all in one
movement from Every, 2-1 and the half-time whistle went.
The half-time talk was made a little easier for Andy by the 10 mins of
champagne football played leading into the break. The message was to exploit
Every's pace, use the width and continue the simple passing game – Perrett was
given a strict 10 yrd passing limit. Kick off seemed to startle the home side
as the yellows poured on more pressure with a flowing move down the right
leading to a corner. A melee in the box followed with Every on hand to poke
the ball into the net and level the scores. 2-2.
Throughout the second period the Canaries played some of their best football
of the season led from the back – Slater, Taylor and Big-G quashing the threat
from the skilful Glenthorne front men. It was probably against the run that a
pacey move up the left of the pitch resulted in their man going down on zero
contact. Peno given and converted gave the home side the lead again, but quite
unjust.
The yellows were resilient and created a number of opportunities to the
whistle – Every unlucky with the final kick of the game not to get a bit more
on a 1-on-1 with the keeper. 3-2 it finished, the London Cup run came to an
end, but a good performance and a good game of football enjoyed by players and
fans alike.
MotM: Greg Tett
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
December 2nd: Norwich outclass Stoke City
Norwich City 5-0 Stoke City
Reports have emerged this morning that the Bars and clubs of Stoke Newington,
Camden Town and Central London took a massive loss in takings on Saturday
Night. At first they put this down to the ever exciting competition in
'Strictly Come Dancing' and 'The X Factor' but it has since come to pass that
the real reason was that Norwich City's playmaking utility man Barnaby Slater
stayed in on Saturday, to get himself in top condition for Sunday's big game.
When asked about this monumental change in Saturday Night plans the Canaries'
Number Ten said "I have been disappointed with my fitness this season and
wanted to see if my alcoholism had anything to do with it. I also invited my
new boyfriend Richard over and rimmed him out - which helped alleviate the
boredom".
Onlookers watching The Norwich vs Stoke game on Sunday afternoon at The Civil
Service were heard saying... "he should stay in and fuck boys every weekend,
that is the best display I've seen him put in since he scored four against The
Republic Of Ireland last year, and consequently called them all
Potato-fearing, leprechaun-riding bomb-makers" DISCLAIMER: This was actually
not what he said, just what he was accused of saying, not in so may words.
In terms of the game, all this journalist can report is that Stoke City were
given an absolute lesson. At the back, the yellows were dominant. Dan Taylor
was his usual self, dropping like a stone and screaming like a bitch anytime
anyone went near him. New signing 'Searge' came straight from the set of The
Bill to win everything in the air, only stopping to pass his badge and gun
holster to Reg Hollis at half-time. And like a red squirrel finding a pile of
soil in it's drey - Manager Andrew Higgins swept up everything admirably.
Out wide Rick Utting played his heart out, only stopping systematically to
abuse his own players - a role he seems to have taken on from Slater, who must
have other things on his mind since he got over his much publicised personal
problems. Thom Perrett was a work-horse on the right, only once seen stopping
to stroke his beautifully cultivated moustache. At one point he even beat a
man for pace, leading to the manager substituting him for not playing to his
strengths.
In the centre of midfield Boucher played the anchor man beautifully. He has
such grace, purpose and fantastic bone structure. Mikey Stubbs ran about like
a whippet on heat, causing panic in the Stoke rear-guard as they had no idea
where he was playing. Similarly to him in fact. Slater got stuck in, gave the
easy balls and had a hand in a few of the goals. Only a broken left foot, a
torn right calf and broken right index finger (he was stamped on) stopped him
from contributing any more. What a hero.
Up front, Evers was Evers and Patterson was clearly possessed. As he was good.
The goals went something like this....
Evers' goals
1 - A skewed cross from Utting into the penalty area, he latched onto it and
rounded the (stationary) keeper to score.
2 - A slide tackle/pass from Perett having outpaced Mario Melchiot to cut the
ball back and Every rolled it past keeper.
3 - A long ball bounced about three times past their dynamic defence, Every
runs onto it, cool left foot finish into the bottom right corner.
Pattersons' goals
1 - Slater played Evers in on right, he crossed and Patterson finished on the
volley with his swinger. Goal of the season.
2 - Hoof. Finish. Goal.
So, that was that. Stoke were shown how to play the beautiful game. All that
was left was for the gaffer Higgins to give his opinion. We caught him just as
he was on the way to the disabled toilet – easily the most comfortable toilet
at the shabby facility that is The Civil Service. Higgins said..... "ugh....it
was a good ugh...aahhhhhh.....performance from the ugghhhhh.....boys. I am
....ugh....proud....now I have to .....aaaaggggghhhhhh....rush off....ugh"
Norwich will be a hard team to stop on this form.
MOM: Slater – an accomplished performance from the flame haired 15 year old.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The information in this email and any attachments contained are confidential
and may be legally privileged. It is intended solely for the addressee. Access
to this by anyone else is unauthorised and if you are not the intended
recipient, any disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken or
omitted to be taken in reliance on it, is prohibited and may be unlawful. When
addressed to our Clients, any opinions, quotations, and advice are subject to
our standard terms and conditions. E&OE
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
Reports have emerged this morning that the Bars and clubs of Stoke Newington,
Camden Town and Central London took a massive loss in takings on Saturday
Night. At first they put this down to the ever exciting competition in
'Strictly Come Dancing' and 'The X Factor' but it has since come to pass that
the real reason was that Norwich City's playmaking utility man Barnaby Slater
stayed in on Saturday, to get himself in top condition for Sunday's big game.
When asked about this monumental change in Saturday Night plans the Canaries'
Number Ten said "I have been disappointed with my fitness this season and
wanted to see if my alcoholism had anything to do with it. I also invited my
new boyfriend Richard over and rimmed him out - which helped alleviate the
boredom".
Onlookers watching The Norwich vs Stoke game on Sunday afternoon at The Civil
Service were heard saying... "he should stay in and fuck boys every weekend,
that is the best display I've seen him put in since he scored four against The
Republic Of Ireland last year, and consequently called them all
Potato-fearing, leprechaun-riding bomb-makers" DISCLAIMER: This was actually
not what he said, just what he was accused of saying, not in so may words.
In terms of the game, all this journalist can report is that Stoke City were
given an absolute lesson. At the back, the yellows were dominant. Dan Taylor
was his usual self, dropping like a stone and screaming like a bitch anytime
anyone went near him. New signing 'Searge' came straight from the set of The
Bill to win everything in the air, only stopping to pass his badge and gun
holster to Reg Hollis at half-time. And like a red squirrel finding a pile of
soil in it's drey - Manager Andrew Higgins swept up everything admirably.
Out wide Rick Utting played his heart out, only stopping systematically to
abuse his own players - a role he seems to have taken on from Slater, who must
have other things on his mind since he got over his much publicised personal
problems. Thom Perrett was a work-horse on the right, only once seen stopping
to stroke his beautifully cultivated moustache. At one point he even beat a
man for pace, leading to the manager substituting him for not playing to his
strengths.
In the centre of midfield Boucher played the anchor man beautifully. He has
such grace, purpose and fantastic bone structure. Mikey Stubbs ran about like
a whippet on heat, causing panic in the Stoke rear-guard as they had no idea
where he was playing. Similarly to him in fact. Slater got stuck in, gave the
easy balls and had a hand in a few of the goals. Only a broken left foot, a
torn right calf and broken right index finger (he was stamped on) stopped him
from contributing any more. What a hero.
Up front, Evers was Evers and Patterson was clearly possessed. As he was good.
The goals went something like this....
Evers' goals
1 - A skewed cross from Utting into the penalty area, he latched onto it and
rounded the (stationary) keeper to score.
2 - A slide tackle/pass from Perett having outpaced Mario Melchiot to cut the
ball back and Every rolled it past keeper.
3 - A long ball bounced about three times past their dynamic defence, Every
runs onto it, cool left foot finish into the bottom right corner.
Pattersons' goals
1 - Slater played Evers in on right, he crossed and Patterson finished on the
volley with his swinger. Goal of the season.
2 - Hoof. Finish. Goal.
So, that was that. Stoke were shown how to play the beautiful game. All that
was left was for the gaffer Higgins to give his opinion. We caught him just as
he was on the way to the disabled toilet – easily the most comfortable toilet
at the shabby facility that is The Civil Service. Higgins said..... "ugh....it
was a good ugh...aahhhhhh.....performance from the ugghhhhh.....boys. I am
....ugh....proud....now I have to .....aaaaggggghhhhhh....rush off....ugh"
Norwich will be a hard team to stop on this form.
MOM: Slater – an accomplished performance from the flame haired 15 year old.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The information in this email and any attachments contained are confidential
and may be legally privileged. It is intended solely for the addressee. Access
to this by anyone else is unauthorised and if you are not the intended
recipient, any disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken or
omitted to be taken in reliance on it, is prohibited and may be unlawful. When
addressed to our Clients, any opinions, quotations, and advice are subject to
our standard terms and conditions. E&OE
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
---
This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are
not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) please
notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail. Any unauthorized
copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is strictly
forbidden.
Please refer to http://www.db.com/en/content/eu_disclosures.htm for additional
EU corporate and regulatory disclosures.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
APFSCIL Dave Baister Cup Final. 2PM. 29/04/07.
Kick Off: 2pm, Bank of England Sports Centre, Priory Lane, Roehampton, London, SW15 5JQ.
The game has already been branded as ENGLAND VS SCOTLAND: THE SHOWDOWN by Sky Sports. Gary Lineker has expressed his delight that the BBC haven’t lost their coverage rights to the Dave Baister Cup Final just yet, and Thom Perrett has even agreed not to take any strangers back to his council block bedsit the night before…so all in all this weekend truly brings us…A SUPER Sunday.
Aberdeen have already secured the APFSCIL League trophy due to their consistent form over the season. However, Norwich can point to their inability to keep hold of leads as to why they didn’t push The Dons harder for the Championship trophy. Having only lost one game all season, against Aberdeen away, Norwich go into this Cup Final with high hopes. They have their Players of the Season from the last two years back from debilitating knee injuries, and Chris Gallagher has promised not to try out Class A drugs for the first time since last year’s semi-final, all in all making for a strong first team.
Some places are up for grabs of course, with Player Manager Andy Higgins fully fit and battling Tom Boucher for the sweeper position. Although if Higgins does come back in then Boucher could easily slot in elsewhere as he is a true David Howells-esque utility player. Also who will get the nod between the sticks? And will Ian Jelbert finally come clean about his sex change operation?
What is sure is that Matt Davies and Greg Tett will bring in hordes of young groupies to watch the game and that Rick Utting will have his best captain’s snarl on during the pre-game warm up.
But the main question is: Can Norwich City top off their most successful ever with their first piece of silverware? Will they get into Europe for the first time since Jeremy Goss made being ginger look good and will Andy Higgins be able to stop polishing his Porsche for long enough to give the players a good team talk?
Come rain or shine, victory or defeat you can be damned sure that the Norwich players will be back in their Sloane Square cruise ship in time for some serious drinking after the game. However, if they have winners medals around their neck then maybe even young Perrett will be able to attract a woman over the legal age of consent for the first time since he nailed that bird with the fakies.
Squad: Barrett, Bennett, Boucher, Davies, Gallagher, Harris, Higgins, Howard, Jelbert, Perrett, Seecharan, Slater, Taylor, Tett, Utting, Wilson.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Stoke City 2 Norwich City 4
Sunday 1st April
Dave Baister Cup Semi Final
Team Line-up: Denys, Taylor, Boucher, Harris, Perrett, Utting, Wilson, Jelbert(2), Tett(1), Davies(1), Gallagher.
Subs: Higgins, Seecharan, Howard.
With dreams of the APFSCIL league title fast fading, the highly prestigious Dave Baister Cup has become the Holy Grail of the Capital Canaries record breaking season. Indeed, one only had to look at the sidelines to realise just how big a game this was. Barney '2 out of 5' Slater was in attendance, as was the recently returned Stubbsy, who having dropped his previous guises, appeared as himself. Also in the crowd was a very welcome visitor making, I believe, her debut at a Canaries game, none other than Delia Winton, newly born daughter of record breaking hitman Dale.
With the team pumped full of hunger and desire (and Lucozade Sport - fortunately for some players not Cocaine) the game kicked off. Unsuprisingly, I suppose, for such a high profile clash, the game was scrappy for long spells. Gallagher had a pair of half chances that he failed to capitalise on at one end, whilst at the other Nick Denys was forced into a smart save by the big Stoke centre forward. Despite all their graft, Norwich were failing to show enough craft and the game was crying out for a moment of magic to breathe life into it. Who would it be??? Gallagher, Davies, Utting, Tettbook, unbelievably none of the above. It was Stokes left back who shocked the ground by converting a free kick from 25 yards, following a shirt pull by former player of the year Dan Taylor, who was booked for his trouble.
The good news was that it took this goal against them to force Norwich to play. A superb long throw from Jelbert caused mayhem in the opposition box, Gallagher kept the ball alive and it broke to, of all people, Jelbert who showed a calm head and a cool finish to level the tie. 1-1, game on. Gallagher then had a chance to put Norwich into the lead but his angled drive was well saved by the keeper.
Half time came soon after, and Norwich recharged their batteries and listened to their instructions for the second half. It was a shame then that the previous nights loud music in Bubblegum had prevented Thom Perrett from hearing his instructions, as just as soon as the whistle for the second half had blown, that Perrett made the mother of all fcuk ups and put the ball into his own net whilst defending the front post from a Stoke corner. What an absolute mug.
Norwich were behind again, but nowadays they are not a team lay down and die. Determined to get their 'friend' out of the mile deep hole he had dug himself into, Norwich began to play with real verve and determination. Frazer was everywhere in the midfield, cutting down his adversaries and driving the team forward. Utting was providing support for the attack down the left hand side, and the team had a new lease of life. Released into the channels Gallagher squared the ball across the box on a couple of occasions, only to see the ball agonisingly fail to be converted. Then came the breakthrough, Gallagher ran at the home defence once more, got his shot away, and when the keeper palmed it out Jelbert raced in to stab home the rebound and complete his brace. Cue wild celebrations amongst fans and players alike.
With the scorelines now level, Norwich looked to go and get a winner, and they did so with confidence, as the back line of Harris, Boucher and Taylor dealt well with the awkward and unorthodox forward line of Stoke. Jelbert once more launched a throw into the box, big Dan Taylor rose to flick it on, and who else would be there to nod the decisive goal but Matt Davies. In the right place at the right time with the right touch (please teach me Matt). Cue even more wild celebrations and an unbelievable gay dance from Slater, (see photographs).
The scoring was not quite over just yet, as there was still time for Tettbook to let rip from long range and make the unfortunate keeper look a little bit silly. 4-2 it finished and a date with destiny awaits the boys in yellow and green.
Get your silly haircuts ready and dust down your suits lads, Its time to teach Aberdeen a lesson.
MOTM: Gallagher
N. Denys 8
Top drawer performance from the big man
P. Harris 8
Uncompromising display
T. Boucher 8
Mr Versatile coped well at sweeper
D. Taylor 8
A dominant force in both penalty boxes
T. Perrett 6
Having a Shearer haircut is no excuse
R. Utting 8
Quality, as always
F. Wilson 9
Dictated the game from the engine room
I. Jelbert 8.5
Is starting to show a very handy goalscoring ability
G. Tett 8
Tettbook display
M. Davies 8
Not his finest display in a yellow shirt, but he knows where the goal is
C. Gallagher 10
Foregone Conclusion???????
A. Higgins 9
Tactics Spot On
G. Howard 8
Smoked us to victory
N. Seecharan 8
Deserves MOTM for getting that photo of Slater
B. Slater 8
Didn't get the chance to save 2 out 5
M. Stubbs 8
Nice to meet you mate
Monday, February 05, 2007
Aberdeen As 1 Capital Canaries 0
Sunday February 4th, 2007
Division 1, APFSCIL League
Team Line-up: McMeckan, Taylor, Harris, Slater, Jelbert, Tett (Bennett), Wilson , Boucher (Perrett), Gallagher, Davies, Utting. Unused subs: Howard, Higgins.
Norwich arrived at the Hi-tech south west London Changing rooms full of hope after a long unbeaten run. Unfortunately Chelsea and Westminster council had run out of money once the showers had been completed - leaving the narrow pitch covered in ankle breaking pot holes.
The Canaries got off to a shaky start ,and after 10 minutes poor marking led to Aberdeen scoring a soft goal as the ball broke to their unmarked centre forward who coolly lobbed the out coming McMeckan. The rest of the first half saw some pretty dire stuff from both sides, as both teams failed to adapt to the poor surface. The only clear chance fell to Norwich who after some fine interplay down the left found Clooney (Davies) free at the far post ... his aging limbs are not quite as flexible these days and he was unfortunate not to level.
Half Time 1-0
Norwich stepped up a gear at the start of the second half with Tett and Jelbert getting hold of the central area, wrestling the initiative from the' Bald Enforcer' in the Aberdeen midfield. Finally the Canaries began to play football down both flanks
with both Rick and the newly introduced Perret linking well with the front two.
Just as the match was swinging the league leaders way disaster struck. Taylor clearly fired up by rumours of household unrest due to flatmates stealing his last Pepsi, lunged once too often at the Aberdeen Centre Forward. After 29 'creative' tackles the ref finally gave up patience and sent the boy off ( although I would suggest in future it may be best practice for the ref not to say he been watching the big man from the start 'as he knows all about the way he plays' ).
The frustration was too much for Gallagher who immediately got involved with the official and found himself joining Danno for an extra long soak. Down to nine men and 20 minutes left ,surely all hope was lost for Norwich. Amazingly the new 1 - 3 - 6 formation enabled the ball playing Canaries new freedom. Bennett conserving his energy ran the game from a five yard circle in the middle of the Aberdeen half and this led to Jelbert finding space just inside the area. A well struck shot was surely about to balloon the onion bag? Just as the ball entered the net it took a right angled bounce and hit the woodwork - rebounding to safety.
Aberdeen were hanging on - the new attacking partnership of Barney and Davies looked to take advantage of some excellent driving runs from Frazer and Perrett. A final chance fell to Bennet having eased himself to the edge of the box struck the ball with all the power of an 8 year old girl - Clearly his Pepsi hadn't been Max!!!
So the unbeaten run was over ... but the dream is still alive. This commentator, when quizzed by CC legend Seechy at the start of the season, guessed that the league winners would drop at least 12 points - having seen all the top teams play he's now convinced!!!!
7 matches left and 7 wins required ... it can be done .. are you up for it? ..."Where are you? Let's be having you. Come on." !!!!!!
MoTM: Harris
Division 1, APFSCIL League
Team Line-up: McMeckan, Taylor, Harris, Slater, Jelbert, Tett (Bennett), Wilson , Boucher (Perrett), Gallagher, Davies, Utting. Unused subs: Howard, Higgins.
Norwich arrived at the Hi-tech south west London Changing rooms full of hope after a long unbeaten run. Unfortunately Chelsea and Westminster council had run out of money once the showers had been completed - leaving the narrow pitch covered in ankle breaking pot holes.
The Canaries got off to a shaky start ,and after 10 minutes poor marking led to Aberdeen scoring a soft goal as the ball broke to their unmarked centre forward who coolly lobbed the out coming McMeckan. The rest of the first half saw some pretty dire stuff from both sides, as both teams failed to adapt to the poor surface. The only clear chance fell to Norwich who after some fine interplay down the left found Clooney (Davies) free at the far post ... his aging limbs are not quite as flexible these days and he was unfortunate not to level.
Half Time 1-0
Norwich stepped up a gear at the start of the second half with Tett and Jelbert getting hold of the central area, wrestling the initiative from the' Bald Enforcer' in the Aberdeen midfield. Finally the Canaries began to play football down both flanks
with both Rick and the newly introduced Perret linking well with the front two.
Just as the match was swinging the league leaders way disaster struck. Taylor clearly fired up by rumours of household unrest due to flatmates stealing his last Pepsi, lunged once too often at the Aberdeen Centre Forward. After 29 'creative' tackles the ref finally gave up patience and sent the boy off ( although I would suggest in future it may be best practice for the ref not to say he been watching the big man from the start 'as he knows all about the way he plays' ).
The frustration was too much for Gallagher who immediately got involved with the official and found himself joining Danno for an extra long soak. Down to nine men and 20 minutes left ,surely all hope was lost for Norwich. Amazingly the new 1 - 3 - 6 formation enabled the ball playing Canaries new freedom. Bennett conserving his energy ran the game from a five yard circle in the middle of the Aberdeen half and this led to Jelbert finding space just inside the area. A well struck shot was surely about to balloon the onion bag? Just as the ball entered the net it took a right angled bounce and hit the woodwork - rebounding to safety.
Aberdeen were hanging on - the new attacking partnership of Barney and Davies looked to take advantage of some excellent driving runs from Frazer and Perrett. A final chance fell to Bennet having eased himself to the edge of the box struck the ball with all the power of an 8 year old girl - Clearly his Pepsi hadn't been Max!!!
So the unbeaten run was over ... but the dream is still alive. This commentator, when quizzed by CC legend Seechy at the start of the season, guessed that the league winners would drop at least 12 points - having seen all the top teams play he's now convinced!!!!
7 matches left and 7 wins required ... it can be done .. are you up for it? ..."Where are you? Let's be having you. Come on." !!!!!!
MoTM: Harris
Saturday, February 03, 2007
DB Cup Quarter-final: Capital Canaries 3 Crewe Alexandra 0
Sunday 28th January 2007
Team line-up: Barlow, Higgins (Perrett), Harris, Taylor, Slater, Barrett (Bennett), Jelbert, Boucher, Utting, Galagher, Davies, Seecharan (not used).
Sunday 28th January 2007, Civil Service sports ground, London, England, saw the form league 1 side, current league leaders and bookies favourites take on an under-performing Crewe side in the quarter final of the Cup. Higgins’s elite squad, combining the talents of yoof and experience, and fresh from a demolition of the Irish were eager to extend their season long unbeaten run at the expense of the team from the Potteries.
The team had a new look about it. The squad rotation system was again in evidence following the withdrawl of 3 key players - Tett (brusied foot), Howard (hamstring) Callum (played the week before). Thankfully Higgins could count on the return of defensive experience, welcoming back himself and Harris in defence, combined aged 94, and Gappy into midfield. After spending two weeks on the bench Gappy was relieved that his step down to Saturday semi pro football had not cost him his starting place in the side. Much to Bennett’s amazement Boucher started his second game on the trot at right midfield, owing much though to Perrett’s disappearance with his Metro bride-to-be from Thailand. Taylor had a new haircut.
Norwich lined up with their usual formation but with the ghostly white presence of Barney “hair dryer” Slater pushing into midfield. The game kicked off and a scrappy opening 20 minutes followed. Norwich never looked comfortable during the early exchanges and could not settle into their normal free-flowing passing game. The back three looked concerned by the presence of the bald, wild eyed Crewe front man, who traded head butts with any of them who came within range. Thankfully a pre-season honed against our own mercurial wild eyed front man saw the back three soon take charge.
As the first half wore on, the Norwich engine room started to exert themselves onto the game. The midfield three’s efforts were tireless, Jelbert’s running, Gappy’s dribbling and Slat’s moaning. Finally the ball was passed out to Boucher on the right hand side who delivered a telling cross into the box for Davies to stoop and score with his head, 1-0 (Davies career goals 98).
The remainder of the half passed without much incident or interest and the half drew to a close. Bennett was overheard claiming that that was one of the most boring 45 minutes of his entire life; little did he know that the second half was to bring more of the same.
In the entire second half there were only two moments of footballing brightness, Boucher scored following neat work from Utting and Galagher on the left hand side, and Davies added a second bringing his career tally to 99 goals. The only explanation for his miss from 2 inches following Gallagher’s penetrating run and cross was that he wants to surpass the 100 mark with a hat-trick against league 1 title contenders Aberdeen the following week.
The second half did see much activity though on the sidelines as first Bennett and then Perrett were introduced to the action. Seech by this time had seen enough and when it was his turn to come on was no where to be found. Slats continued to show the combative side to his game with a constant tirade against his fellow players. One wonders whether the brooding presence of his dad clutching his lunch box on the sidelines was the cause of the gifted alice-band wearing tyro’s angst.
Following the final whistle the Norwich players were safe in the knowledge that this was job done, next up the Semi final. All that was left to do was for Gappy and Slats to compare semi pro careers and Higgins to see how many Norwich players he could cram into his Porsche.
January over, still unbeaten, top of the division and into the semi-final of the cup. As the seasons enters its business end, time for the real work to start.
Man of the Match: Tom Boucher
Team line-up: Barlow, Higgins (Perrett), Harris, Taylor, Slater, Barrett (Bennett), Jelbert, Boucher, Utting, Galagher, Davies, Seecharan (not used).
Sunday 28th January 2007, Civil Service sports ground, London, England, saw the form league 1 side, current league leaders and bookies favourites take on an under-performing Crewe side in the quarter final of the Cup. Higgins’s elite squad, combining the talents of yoof and experience, and fresh from a demolition of the Irish were eager to extend their season long unbeaten run at the expense of the team from the Potteries.
The team had a new look about it. The squad rotation system was again in evidence following the withdrawl of 3 key players - Tett (brusied foot), Howard (hamstring) Callum (played the week before). Thankfully Higgins could count on the return of defensive experience, welcoming back himself and Harris in defence, combined aged 94, and Gappy into midfield. After spending two weeks on the bench Gappy was relieved that his step down to Saturday semi pro football had not cost him his starting place in the side. Much to Bennett’s amazement Boucher started his second game on the trot at right midfield, owing much though to Perrett’s disappearance with his Metro bride-to-be from Thailand. Taylor had a new haircut.
Norwich lined up with their usual formation but with the ghostly white presence of Barney “hair dryer” Slater pushing into midfield. The game kicked off and a scrappy opening 20 minutes followed. Norwich never looked comfortable during the early exchanges and could not settle into their normal free-flowing passing game. The back three looked concerned by the presence of the bald, wild eyed Crewe front man, who traded head butts with any of them who came within range. Thankfully a pre-season honed against our own mercurial wild eyed front man saw the back three soon take charge.
As the first half wore on, the Norwich engine room started to exert themselves onto the game. The midfield three’s efforts were tireless, Jelbert’s running, Gappy’s dribbling and Slat’s moaning. Finally the ball was passed out to Boucher on the right hand side who delivered a telling cross into the box for Davies to stoop and score with his head, 1-0 (Davies career goals 98).
The remainder of the half passed without much incident or interest and the half drew to a close. Bennett was overheard claiming that that was one of the most boring 45 minutes of his entire life; little did he know that the second half was to bring more of the same.
In the entire second half there were only two moments of footballing brightness, Boucher scored following neat work from Utting and Galagher on the left hand side, and Davies added a second bringing his career tally to 99 goals. The only explanation for his miss from 2 inches following Gallagher’s penetrating run and cross was that he wants to surpass the 100 mark with a hat-trick against league 1 title contenders Aberdeen the following week.
The second half did see much activity though on the sidelines as first Bennett and then Perrett were introduced to the action. Seech by this time had seen enough and when it was his turn to come on was no where to be found. Slats continued to show the combative side to his game with a constant tirade against his fellow players. One wonders whether the brooding presence of his dad clutching his lunch box on the sidelines was the cause of the gifted alice-band wearing tyro’s angst.
Following the final whistle the Norwich players were safe in the knowledge that this was job done, next up the Semi final. All that was left to do was for Gappy and Slats to compare semi pro careers and Higgins to see how many Norwich players he could cram into his Porsche.
January over, still unbeaten, top of the division and into the semi-final of the cup. As the seasons enters its business end, time for the real work to start.
Man of the Match: Tom Boucher
Saturday, January 27, 2007
RISSC 2 Capital Canaries 10
Sunday 21st January 2007
Under strict instruction from the older, wiser, (gayer) heads of the Capital Canaries squad, this match report will steer clear of abusing the opposition and instead concentrate on giving stick to our team, although that will be difficult as Norwich produced a storming performance that swept aside a Republic team who on paper looked like tough opposition.
The long, arduos journey to LPR club was made less stressful not only by the pre-match visit to Admiral Callum's Ship, but also by the size and quality of the LPR pitch which suited the free flowing game that Norwich were about to produce. Regular Keeps Ian Mcmeckan was unavailable due to band commitments, so Norwich's trusty No.2 (soon to be No.1) Big Mike stepped in between the sticks. Tom Boucher slotted in at RWB in place of the 'loved up' Thom Perrett in a descision that would normally have shocked the portly, vertically challenged wide man, however he is so in love at the moment he didn't care.
The pre-match teamtalk focused on the need to 'get at 'em' from the off and try to blow away the opposition before they knew what had hit them. This plan worked an absolute treat as within barely a couple of minutes Norwich netted. A long, accurate ball from Slater, who has recently been blossoming in his new role as sweeper, was flicked on by Davies and Gallagher raced in behind the green shirts to fire into the top corner from 18 yards. Cracking goal and a cracking start to the game. Things were to only get better for Norwich though and after a good exchange of passes with Utting on the left hand side Gallagher ran at the Irish defence and swept home from an angle nutmegging keeps in the process. Soon after a defensive error let in Davies to cooly slot away his first, and his second followed soon after following another well taken goal by the record breaking forward. 4 nil to Norwich and as planned the Irish did not know what had hit them. Utting was to join in the goalscoring fun by finshing with his 'swinger' after Gallagher cut the ball back from the byline, and there was still time in the half for Davies to complete his hat-trick with a goal that I cant remember, but probably set up.
Half time provided the opportunity for plenty of back-slapping in the Norwich camp but wary of the fact that the wind could change the game (yeah right)! The second half would see the introduction of Gappy in place of the 'G' man who fancied a fag (why not have Slater) and also the introduction of the new Jelbert who after all his graft this season got his rewards in the shape of goals. Jelberts first came when Gallagher unselfishly squared to gift him an open goal, his second came with a great finish after Gallagher caressed the ball through for him ( hmmm I see a pattern emerging here) and his third was another goal I cant remember, it does get difficult when the score is so high! Danno Taylor showed everyone he is back in business with a towering header from a corner, a trademark Taylor goal, assisted this time by the graceful Tett.
There was time left for Jelbert to show himself up as an ungrateful bastard by refusing point blank to pass to Gallagher, despite promising earlier to help him notch his hat trick goal. There was time also for Perrett to join the fray and fall over a few times but what did he care, he is in love.
MOTM: Gallagher
B. Mike 8
Showed good distribution and confidence in testing conditions
G. Howard 8
Continued recent good form until removed due to injury
B. Slater 8
Showed why they call him Glenn Hoddlebone (they dont really)
D. Taylor 8
He's back, I hope he's keeping that shield clean
T. Boucher 8
Energetic performance and I'm sure got an assist in there somewhere
R. Utting 8
What else do you expect from the consistent skipper
G. Tett 8
A 'Tettbook' performance
I. Jelbert 9
Jel showed the whole package in this game
A. Callum 8
Have you seen this guys house
M. Davies 9
Loves scoring goals, and is damn good at it
C. Gallagher 10
Couldn't handle him, much like the Eltham Police Force
M. Barrett 8
Had a fight with my grandad
T. Perrett 8
Slotted in well despite having his head in the clouds
A. Higgins 8
Manager of the year can play a bit too you knowMonday, January 15, 2007
London Hibs 1 - Capital Canaries 1
Team line-up: McMeckan, Slater, Taylor, Howard, Perrett (Boucher 60), Jelbert, Tett, Wilson, Utting (Barrett 70), Galagher, Davies
Mild weather adorned an important Sunday for the yellows – the first of 2007. 17 fit and health canaries turned out to take on London Hibs, a team under-achieving at the bottom of the league but with a reputation for being a footballing side. All the lads knew they had to be up for this one, and Higgins was no martyr to this prophecy; motivational printouts were stuck on the walls of the dressing room and the pre-match huddle was energetic and ladenned with expletives….have it.
The line up was the brain-child of Norwich trio Higgins, Utting and Slater who decided to keep much same personnel as that which beat Exeter before the winter break. A key change was ‘keeps who was welcomed back to the starting 11 and looked stunning in a new bisque yellow jersey, fresh from his Saturday night out.
When the game kicked off the Scottish lads were quick to start and enjoyed the better of the play - showing some quick passing moves and making life uncomfortable for the yellows. It was against the play then that a determined Perrett run and cross was met by Utting 10 yards from goal, only for the ball to deflect wide off a beaten keeper. Hibernian pressure told though. At the other end a long ball and a well intentioned header back to the keeper from Taylor somehow made its way into the net and saw Hibs get their noses in front - extreme bad luck, but seemingly the kick up the a*se all the boys needed. 1-0 Hibs.
The midfield started to move from the kick off. Jelbert, Wilson and Tett took responsibility for a man each and led the physical battle, backed up with the enormous presence of Howard who threatening to hospitalise anyone within 40 yards of him. The ball finally came under control and that meant the two “wide” boys (Perrett and Utting) could get into the game. After half and hour some nice passing between the backline and Utting eventually found Jelbert who unleashed one from outside the box, but was well saved. Slater flew through a Hibs man and Tett picked up the ball and got a shot off as well, to the same result. Davies was tireless in his chase up front and when he was cynically wrestled to the ground 25 yards from goal it was refreshing to see a beautifully prepared free kick routine from Wilson and Perrett – or should that be just Wilson – the result being another save from the keeper. Better from the yellows but still not the silky football of pre-Christmas.
Late in the first half warnings came from the Hibs front man that the midfield trio should be careful not to tire themselves out and that signified a swing in control. By half-time Galagher had luckily escaped with a booking for some heavy petting with the Hibs centre half and Tett also picked up a petulant yellow for obstructing a free kick. 1-0 down, but performing better, Higgins’ job was to encourage more of the same…
Norwich emerged from half time with no changes. The message was that the play needed to be quicker, the wide men needed more of the ball and the physical challenge had to continue. >From the kick off Wilson released Galagher who breezed past the pedestrians in the Hibs defence, but his crashing shot was only good enough for the side netting. Slater, Howard and Taylor found the feet of the midfield men and Utting in particular made good use of the ball - beating the right-back every time. The Hibs midfield were tired and that meant more football could be played through the middle. Jelbert’s fitness was massive and he did a lot of work which meant Tett and Wilson could have the luxury of scooping up the second ball. The canaries created numerous openings and finally they broke through. Davies went clear and his hard work created a corner. Utting swung in a clever low one, Tett flicked on, a melée in the box followed and who else but Davies was there to poke one in. Game on nd advantage yellows, 1-1.
Boucher came on for Perrett and he continued the excellent work already shown in keeping the clever Hibs left midfielder quiet, as well as giving a master class in the dummy scissor kick. Gappy came in into central midfield replacing Utting, with Tett moving to left wing. This provided extra pace and creativity to stretch Scottish legs - and within minutes it worked. A Gappy run created a free kick and later he looked certain to score at the sharp end of a neat move involving Taylor, Bouch and Galagher, but the ball crept wide. Late on Wilson unleashed a shot / cross and that was the end of the goal bound threat. A worrying moment at the other end was Hibs only true effort of the half but was brushed aside from the Norwich central three who deserve special merit for their monumental 90 minutes.
1-1 it finished, scant recognition for a game donated by the canaries showing the trademark heart and fight. Still unbeaten and over the potential Scottish banana skin…roll on the next one.
MoTM: Greg Tett
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
