Birmingham 0 Capital Canaries 6 (six)

Dave Baister Cup: Round 1

Sunday 3rd December

Brum sent to Coventry! (well, somewhere there or thereabouts!)

This report could not start off any other way than congratulating Canaries stalwart Pete Harris on the birth of his daughter Lois Sofia, and also congratulating Canaries spice boy Tom Perrett on the birth of his moustache. Despite these important events happening very recently, both turned up for the opening cup game of the Canaries season, Harris as a spectator and Perrett as a ..................well, spectator!

Norwich were dealt a couple of surprises before the game kicked off, firstly when the referee failed to show up, a decision that Keeps would later wish he had made. Secondly Birmingham took to the field with only nine men, a situation that this current Canaries side would never find themselves in. In order to rectify these situations Higgins took on the role of the man in black and to help Birmingham's plight Perrett promised to play crap and he didn't let anyone down (except himself).

With Matthew 'Gappy' Barrett out injured having followed Slaters advice to play at a much higher level, Norwich welcomed back the Lord Lucan of the side, Callum Wilson, into midfield. Slater himself slotted in at sweeper and Dutch porn star Bert Van Hoogenfloof turned out at right wing back.

Norwich started brightly without penetrating too much, ( a joke here is just too easy ) and found the breakthrough when Wilson volleyed home from 10 yards, showing good concentration as the ball took ages to come down from a great height. The second goal followed soon after when Gallagher was released down the left by Utting and raced through on goal, drew the keeper towards him and gave Davies the simplest of tasks. Two nil up early and a rout was expected but it did not come. Birmingham battled bravely with their numerical disadvantage and Norwich could not seem to find the motivation to put the game beyond doubt. Bad decision making, poor finishing and people playing crap did not help the cause. When Higgins blew for half time a feeling of frustration was seeping through both teams.

The second half offered a chance to put things right for Norwich but it wasn't taken. Perrett crossed an in-direct free kick straight into the net to his dismay. Gallagher was scythed down viciously only for his own manager to label him a cheating diving scumbag!!! Jelbert and Tett were getting upset that Frazer kept ruining all their good work in midfield so dismissed him into the back three and let Slater push forward. This inspired move changed the game. Moments after Frazer buggered off a piece of good football found Perrett in space on the right. A quick glance up and Perrett let fly at goal, despite the floundering effort from the keeper the ball found the back of the net via the inside of the post. The fourth goal was scored by Tom Boucher from close range following a sharp turn and parried shot by Gallagher. Davies found the net a second time when a deflected left foot shot found the bottom corner and the scoring was completed when Gallagher arrowed home from the edge of the box. All that was left was to wake up Keeps and tell Perrett to get a razor.

I. McMeckan 6
Did absolutely nothing through no fault of his own

T. Boucher 7
Strong, reliable and on the scoresheet

G. Howard 6
Solid and dependable

B. Slater 7
Saw lots of ball, used it well most of the time

T. Perrett 7
Got forward more than usual, cracking goal

R. Utting 7
Mr Reliable delivers again

F. Wilson 6
Good finish but where has he been?

G. Tett 7
Competed well, created a few openings

I. Jelbert 7
Tigerish midfield display

M. Davies 7
Two goals from the record breaker

C.Gallagher 8
Class showed , had a Physical and Mental advantage over his opponents

MoTM: Gallagher