Sunday 15th October 2006
Manchester United 1
Norwich City 10 (ten)
Being spotted in a bar normally frequented by gays at
3am is not really the best preparation for a crunch
game at the top of the APFSCIL league. Fortunately
for Norwich City shot-stopper Ian McMeckan he hardly
had to break sweat as the Canaries swept aside a Man
Utd team who proudly boasted a 100% record coming into
this fixture. It was a well earned rest for 'Keeps'
as he has become affectionately known, after all the
bum drumming he had partaken in earlier that morning.
There was also pre - match concern over the morale of
midfield general Barney Slater, not because he had
been asked to play out of position at sweeper but
because he had not been invited along with Keeps to
the gay bar, which is incidentally Slaters local.
Man Utd turned up for the game with only ten men, so
gaffer Andy Higgins, outraged at being overlooked for
the job vacancy at Carrow Road, offered to loan
wing-back and regular substitute Tom Perrett to the
reds to even up the numbers. However the reds boss
had seen Perrett in the warm up and decided to press
on with ten.
Norwich were pumped big time for this game and boy did
it show. Within minutes Norwich were ahead, Gappy, a
much more serious threat to Davies' golden boot than
creator in chief Gallagher, followed in a shot from
distance, a real strikers goal. Before Utd had time
to blink they were two down. This time an inch
perfect cross by Perrett was met by the head of Davies
who got himself off the mark for the season. Sensing
the Man Utd players dis-array Norwich went for the
jugular, and indeed the spectacular as Gallagher hit
an absolutely outrageous cross with the outside of his
right boot to the back post where Davies converted his
second header of the day. Gallagher, in a
particularly unselfish mood then slipped a through
ball into the path of Gappy who ran through to score
his second of the afternoon with another crisp finish.
Norwich, four goals to the good within the first
fifteen minutes were on fire.
There was still time in the first half for Davies to
really take the piss and grap his hat-trick of headers
this time meeting another accurate Perrett corner and
looping his header into the net. Davies found time to
score again in the half but by this time he was just
showing off! The only blip of the half for Norwich
was when G Faircloth got his obligatory goal via a
well struck free kick. The wall done its job about as
well as an inflatable dartboard and left Keeps
helpless, though someone said if it had of been a
cheeseburger flying at him he would've caught it.
The second half picked up where the first left off,
with Norwich dictating and dominating the game. Any
time Man Utd tried to attack the Cap Cans, they were
expertly thwarted by the three musketeers at the back,
Slater, Harris and Howard. Ian Jelbert thought he
would try and build on last weeks motm performance by
scoring this week, only everytime he tried to do so
his goalbound efforts found someones arse, elbow or
shin. Frazer, upset at not finding the net himself,
feigned a head injury to prevent Gallagher from
scoring when he was clean through. Gappy, having been
so clinical up till now went on to miss a host of
chances to complete his hat-trick. When he finally
did convert a chance to rack up his third goal he
celebrated as wildly as Keeps did when he got inside
the gay bar.
The eighth Norwich goal of the afternoon came when
Rick Utting, who played majestically on the left hand
side, burst down the channel and crossed only to see
the ball turned into the net by a Man Utd defender.
Somehow he got credited with the OG. The ninth goal
came when Gallagher, bored with giving Matt Davies
open goals from two yards only to see him miss,
produced some quick footwork and a neat finish to add
his name to the scoresheet. The game was rounded off
when Davies plundered his fifth and Norwichs' tenth
goal, proving what an idiot Gallagher is for thinking
he might be top scorer!
How they rated?
I. McMeckan 7
Untested but confident and comfortable when called
upon
B. Slater 8
Commanding and a real leader at the back
P. Harris 7
Found time to foray forwards as well as being solid
defensively
G. Howard 8
A towering performance
T. Perrett 9
Quality delivery and unlucky not to score (withdrawn,
again)
R. Utting 9
Another great display from Mr Reliable
C. Wilson 7
A real father figure on the pitch
I. Jelbert 8
Solid and strong in centre midfield
M. Barrett 9
Hat trick hero
D. Winton 9
Five goals a real supermarket sweep
C. Gallagher 10
World class performance
T. Boucher 8
Quality replacement shows depth of squad
A. Higgins 11
Great decision to remove Perrett
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