Capital Canaries 3 Middlesbrough 1

APFSCIL Division One

Norwich City  3    Middlesbrough  1

Sunday, 05 March 2006


No sign of a single 'Higgins Out' protestor at the Civil Service ground on the day after many 'Higgins In' banners were spotted at our less illustrious big brother's Carrow Road misery-pit a hundred miles or so up the road.

The fact that this was the Capital Canaries' 7th league win in a row has had many internet message boards awash with rumours that our baby making manager is due to take a 90% pay cut and take up the Carrow Rd hotseat any day now.

WeLoveYouPaulMcVeigh1991, the internet's most respected poster had this to say;
"Higgins' ability to motivate such layabouts and criminals as Paul Bennett and Chris Gallagher wouldn't go amiss among those overpaid prima-donnas at Carrow Road, I'd get him in. Fair enough, we'd have to top Mourinho's wages, but like Jennifer Aniston- he's worth it".

Norwich were facing Boro without Rich Stephenson, Nick & Tom Seecharan, Andy Parling, and Rick Utting. It appears that Andy Parling must be dead, as there's no match report to be seen from the previous match. Rick was on an Uttingly great cruise to the Mediterranean island of Mikanos. This meant going into the game with only 10 natural left footers in the team, way less than normal. With Rick's left midfield berth vacant, up stepped Perrett, with a left foot so cultured that it's currently reciting the works of William Goldwin to a 19th century poetry class.

Other changes included George Clooney effortlessly slipping into Perrett's size 10s on the right hand side of Norwich's midfield, Callum Wilson took a break from losing Nick Leeson sized funds and making tea for real traders to return to the heart of the side, and a mentally rejuvenated Slater returned from undisclosed personal problems involving Marcus Trescothick's wife to complete the Canaries XI.

One or two of the Canaries were carrying injuries heading into the game. In Gallagher's case it was carrying 10 pints of south London's premier nightspot's Snakebite in his belly. Bennett looked like he'd come straight from the Clapham Grand, and Ladies Favourite Davies was suffering with an unsatisfactory manicure.

The game started with Captain Callum winning the toss and electing to start the game downhill and with the wind. Perry Groves would have been proud of both Boucher and Perrett's ability to chuck the ball half the length of the pitch. It was probably just the wind.

The game's first real chance fell to Harris in the second minute. A near post corner found the Richard O-Brian lookalike on the edge of the six yard box, and his glancing header went wide of the far post. This was not to deter the Canaries, who pressed hard at the Boro back line before claiming the lead after 15 minutes through the predatory Matt Davies.

A good move down the left saw a couple of shots fired in at the Boro goal before the ball deflected at an awkward height to 'Dale' Davies who put the ball past the keeper with minimum fuss. He then proceeded to cerebrate by taking us all to Asda after the game and encouraging us to put as many items in a trolley as possible in 60 seconds.

They say bad luck comes in threes. In Gallagher's case he had a double bout of it. On a miserable afternoon for the angry south Londoner around six chances went begging. A mixture of good goalkeeping, wayward finishing, goals not being big enough, and snakebite kept his goal tally for the afternoon down to a measly one. To be fair to Davies' less predatory partner, it was a good one. A floated ball over the top from Perrett from just inside his own half caught the Boro defence napping and Gallagher nipped in behind before exchanging passes with Winton and firing home off the post from 15 yards into the bottom corner.

With Slater, Wilson and Bennett winning everything in midfield, and linking up well with the frontmen, the Canaries were playing well. The odd misplaced pass did anger the sensitive (not just his skin) Slater, but he kept going and he and Wilson were enjoying adulation of the yellow army who had gathered en mass.

Chances continued to go begging, with Bennett, and Davies again going close. With the defence only breached once after a double nause-up by Harris and Higgins, Semple in the Norwich goal was rarely called upon for the first 45 mins, but it was unlikely that this would continue into the second half with the Canaries up the hill and against the wind. Half time brought words of encouragement from the gaffer, but it was clear that 2 goals may not have been enough on a day where conditions favoured those sat at home doing something else.

Just two minutes into the second half Boro had their first good chance on goal. Clearly encouraged to shoot with the wind, their midfielder unleashed a looping effort from 35 yards that Semple did well to turn over his bar for a corner.

Middlesbrough's goal was a beauty. Davies made a rare foray into his own half "tracking back" I think it's called. The resulting foul on the onrushing Boro midfielder resulted in a free kick in a central position 25 yards out. Semple set up a four man wall but was powerless to stop a rocket into the top corner.

This gave Boro some confidence, and they were quick to up their tempo and trouble Norwich at times. Slater's Strop-o-meter was registering 4 or 5 at this point before a mis-control took it off the Richter scale to the sound of sighs, huffs and puffs. A collective 'tut' was heard from the Canaries. The increased Boro attacking was leaving gaps at the back, and it was a good job for them that Gallagher was in such a generous mood, beating the post twice then hitting the keeper from close range. Davies was left rueing his decision not to forcefully take the ball off Gallagher's toes to apply the finishing touches. Motivational guru Slater also went close with a side footer that didn't quite connect from 18 yards following good work from Boucher.

A moment of class from Paul Bennett on the edge of his own box then infuriated the chasing Boro forward who was turned inside out by Bennett who span away from him on the edge of the box. Bennett was then twice hacked down, the second time a headbutt which resulted in a straight red card for the Boro forward.

With Boro down to ten men, the game opened up for Norwich who were able to enjoy good periods of possession. With the Boro defence opened up following a good move in midfield Slater was able to release a great pass through the middle of the two centre halves for Wilson to run on to. With the ball onto his favoured left foot, Wilson calmly slid the ball past the keeper and reeled away in delight. Gallagher looked on in envy of such composure in front of goal.

The Canaries had won 7 straight league games for the first time in 34 years - coincidentally, Dan Taylor's real age.

Norwich 3-1 Middlesborough

Man Of The Match: Tom Perrett