Norwich City 5 : 1 Birmingham

When a team strolls to its fourth consecutive win, amassing 16 goals in the process, team selection should be a foregone conclusion. This wasn’t the case however for Norwich tyrant Higgins, who with no fewer than 4 first team regulars returning, was left with several awkward decisions to make. Make them he did, and sticking to the team that destroyed Crewe the previous week, he named an unchanged line-up.

 

This meant that for Parling, Boucher, Stephenson, Seecharan, and Harris a place on a very strong bench was awaiting them – and believe me the durability of the said bench was tested fully with the complied weights of the portly looking five far in excess of a Rick Waller / Michelle McManus Duet.

 

With the game kicking off in near perfect conditions, Norwich didn’t get off to the flyer that in previous weeks has seen games won even before Harris has had the chance to smoke his customary 4 first half cigarettes.

On a narrow and short pitch they struggled to dominate Birmingham, whose 4-5-1 formation stood up well to Norwich’s 3-5-2, which meant that in the opening exchanges defender Howard found himself playing a support role in midfield, a position he acclimatised to as a whale takes to the Thames.

 

However fears of an Exeter style tactical calamity were slightly eased, when Taylor opened the scoring.

Rick Utting delivered he’s first perfect ball of the afternoon, and the handsome Taylor shrewdly lost his marker, notching he’s sixth of the season with a textbook header (You’re right, 6 for a centre back? that is good).

 

Where in previous weeks Norwich have built on early gains to see off opponents, this time Birmingham coped admirably and fought their way back into the game. 10 minutes before the interval, they were thrown a lifeline, when caught with his Y-Fronts firmly down Higgins cynically conceded a penalty.

With Perrett busy signing autographs for 13year old girls, Birmingham broke down the right, where a low delivered cross was met by the hand of god (as he likes to be known in the bedroom), and Higgins misdemeanour was penalised.

Lucky to stay on the pitch the cute blonde protested but to no avail, with the spot kick levelling things up at 1-1.

 

Half Time.

 

Feeling the mangers wrath Perrett was given the opportunity to further he’s relationships with the autograph hunters joining them on the sidelines and making way for Boucher, to add some northern grit into midfield.

 

Early exchanges in the second half were few and far between, so it was apt the goals third game was set up by an error. Scuffing the ball from a goal kick, the keepers poor clearance was controlled well by Gallagher, who breaking clear rounded the keeper and finished coolly, leaving him to celebrate knowing he’d fully earnt that evening’s pop-corn chicken feast.

Birmingham inevitably came forward creating good pressure in midfield, but they found it hard to release the final through ball, and to find their forward who was firmly tucked in Taylor’s pocket.

 

Not so assure of his teams fate though, and perhaps fearing a Birmingham equaliser and the possibility of having to break sweat in extra time, Bennett sealed the tie with a tidy finish from another Utting corner. He’s first chance was blocked well by the defender, but when the ball broke back to him Bennett’s left foot swinger connected sweetly with ball lodging in the far left top corner.

 

Soon after this the game was finally decided when Boucher finished off a great Norwich move. Superb work from Callum Wilson released Utting with a back heel, whose pace took him to the by-line, and cutting the ball back superbly Boucher timed he’s run well, calmly nutmegging the keeper.

 

Muttering “I’m better than this shit, do they not know who I am?” Slater joined Pat Butcher on the sidelines - making way for Parling who immediately announced himself by conceding a free kick with a shrug of he’s narrow shoulders.

 

Stephenson soon followed at the expense of a disappointed Gallagher, still hoping to win his first header of the season.

 

With a more ‘experienced’ forward line looking for Norwich goals, Birmingham could afford to throw men forward safely in the fact that the leisurely attackers wouldn’t catch them out. However looks can be deceiving and when Stephenson broke clear he won Norwich another corner.

 

Tired of setting up goals, and tired of scoring them, Utting and Taylor let their body doubles Boucher and Davies get in on the act. Boucher nonchalantly swung in the corner to the six yard spot, where Davies completed the afternoons scoring with the ladies favourite stooping to the head clinically past the keeper.

 

The final whistle soon followed and trailing off to the clubhouse Norwich celebrated by watching HMP Stoke vs. HMP Rangers fight for the right to get knocked out in the next round.

 

Post match celebrations were slightly soured with the news that keeper Semple had been offered and accepted a lucrative contract in the Far East, and that Perrett a la Sol had shacked up in Barrymore’s pad with he’s new 13 year old braced lady friend, amid fears of a breaking story in Mondays ‘Sun’.

 

Good game well done and that. Don’t ever vote me mom again. 8pm on a Wednesday just to write this shit. Also haven’t read it back, so if it’s borderline artistic/autistic please forgive me.

 

I love you all,

Love,

Dan.